Free Klutzy Love by Sharon Kleve Page A

again. Do you know why I won’t be seeing you again, Brett ?” The look on his face was priceless, but he didn’t deny it. To teach him a lesson, I accidentally-on-purpose dropped my keys and gave him one more peak at my luscious boobs. The drool started all over again. I threw a twenty on the table and left.
    The Paseo Caribbean Restaurant was a fifteen minute drive in good traffic. It wasn’t good traffic. There was probably a sporting event at Safeco Field because traffic was bumper-to-bumper. When I arrived, the stuffy maître d’ rudely announced, “Mr. Tyson has been waiting fifteen minutes.”
    I was escorted to the table. Samuel’s eye’s scrolled up and down my body and evidently I came up short. In a bored voice he inquired, “Would you care for a martini?”
    I mimicked him and in a bored tone answered, “Sure.”
    Pete chuckled softly, “He’s boring. Let’s get out of here.”
    Samuel knocked back two more martinis without a word to me. He summoned the waiter again. “Please bring separate checks.”
    Oh, he told me. I was glad I hadn’t ordered the lobster. If Kitty or Brenda showed up I didn’t see them, because I was in and out in record time.
    “Come on Pete; let’s see if we can find a park to play in before my next date.”

    ***

    My next date didn’t have a picture on his profile, but I immediately recognized him. He sat a few tables away from my friends. Sneaky Bastard’s profile painted a picture of a strong, sexy guy. He was clean-shaven; not hairless. His short blond hair was dusted with grey. His blue eyes seemed to stare a hole through me as I walked to the table. “Pete, what do you think? Should I run for cover? His eyes felt like laser beams. My face is heating up.”
    “Are you getting any nipple reaction to him?”
    “No, nothing—just a hot face.”
    “You could be coming down with the flu, who knows? You keep forgetting to get me a snack — a breadstick is all I need.”
    “Okay, okay, there’s bread on the table. I’ll sneak a piece for you.”
    Sneaky Bastard smiled and said, “You must be Corny. You look better than your picture. Can I get you a drink?”
    “Yes, I’ll have a margarita.”
    “I’ve been told the food is extra spicy here. Are you up for trying something exceptionally hot?”
    That sounded like a sexual innuendo and I got another hot flash. “I love spicy food.  You choose, I’m going to use the restroom.” To splash cold water on myself.
    As I walked away from our table, two men approached Sneaky Bastard and he didn’t look happy to see them. I turned around and he looked a little panicked too. That’s when I noticed the goon, Brenda’s boyfriend, and he motioned me to the restroom. I was familiar with head-nods from my girlfriends, but not from a guy. A quick glance to my friends got me a little worried. They had strange expressions on their faces — it freaked me out. I made sure I had my purse before I left the table.
    A door opened at the end of the hallway and the goon stood there. It was a storage closet and barely big enough for two people. He motioned for me to ‘shush’ with his finger to my lips. I hate the shush... it’s rude. I tried to protest, but John put his hand over my mouth to shut me up. After the door was all the way shut, he quickly let go of my mouth—smart move on his part.
    “Listen, it’s in your best interest to leave now and sever any contact you have with that guy. Will you do that?”
    “Hey, he’s the first date who isn’t weird. The first guy had a hairless fetish, the second date was a spy for Steve, and the third had a problem with my tardiness. What’s wrong with the Sneaky Bastard?”
    A large vein in John’s forehead pulsated — could that be a bad sign? “His name isn’t Sneaky Bastard. He’s bad news and you need to leave now.” John saw my stubborn look and quickly softened his face and added, “Please?” Like that would help. Then he compromised. “I’ll try to explain