Free Klutzy Love by Sharon Kleve Page B

later.”
    John insisted I high-tail it out the kitchen’s back door. But before I could even make it to the kitchen, we both heard a loud pop, screams and a great deal of commotion. He ran like Steve Austin in ‘The Six Million Dollar Man’ back toward the dining room and I followed at a slower pace — more like ‘The Six Star Girl.’
    Thankfully, Brenda and Kitty had run as fast as their three-inch spike heels could take them toward us. John grabbed Brenda’s hand and I grabbed Kitty’s and we ran through the kitchen door and out into the back alley.
    “We thought we’d help you with Corny. We were almost to the bathroom when we heard screaming.”
    John calmed Brenda with a hug. “Everything is okay.”
    I was not calm. “Oh my God. What was that noise? Was that gunfire and did it have anything to do with my date?”
    John wasn’t even out of breath when he replied, “Gunfire, and yes, and most likely, yes.”
    “Is he dead? Please tell me he isn’t dead. He seemed like a nice guy.”
    “There’s a good chance he’s dead and he wasn’t a nice guy.”
    “Two men arrived at our table as I was heading to the restroom. Sneaky Bastard looked scared. Do you think those two guys kill him?”
    “Most likely they were involved. Luckily Brenda and Kitty had already headed to the restroom when he was shot.”
    “Do you think I should go back and pay the bill?”
    He shook his head. “That’s the least of your worries.”

    “Okay, I sure hope my last date is descent. I haven’t had a full meal yet.” I know I was in shock. That was the only logical reason why I finished my dating spree.
    With my luck, Michael Nate Parker would turn out to be a mass murderer. I arrived with five minutes to spare with John, Kitty, and Brenda close on my tail. They didn’t want to take any chances with my last date of the evening.
    I spotted a guy who looked pretty buff, definitely a steroid user, yet strangely on the feminine side. “Pete, what do you think about this guy?”
    “Wow, I’m speechless and ready for a nap. Wake me up if anything interesting happens.”
    I could see Michael watching me walk in from a table by the window. The Magnolia Village Pub didn’t take reservations, which meant he must’ve arrived especially early to get such a great table. He looked like a cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator and a peacock. He held his beer in his right hand with his little pinky straight out. He wore a lavender-colored cashmere sweater and I could smell Shalimar perfume. Why would an obviously gay guy go on a date with me?
    He spoke with a lisp. “Hi there, I love your hair; it’s such a pretty shade of red. Do you mind if I ask if it’s natural or do you color it? I have a great job working as a bellman at the W Hotel. It’s a swanky downtown Seattle hotel and I get to do a lot of exciting things like open the front door for the guests, handle luggage, valet cars, call cabs, give directions, basic concierge service, and respond to all sorts of unique guest’s needs. It’s exclusive and the guests are very generous with their tips. My roommate Christopher and I have two cats, Gaylord, and Sergio, and a bulldog, Bruce. Our dream is to open a pet rescue farm one day. What do you do?”
    “I’m an Executive Assistant to an idiot.”
    Michael continued without a comment. “Christopher, my roommate, is in commercial construction, but he likes to drag race on the weekends. He wants to go pro, but he can’t get a sponsor.”
    “Michael, are you gay?” I’d been told that I could be brutally blunt on occasion. This was one of those times because Michael scooted close to me and started to blubber. When his emotions were finally under control, he scooted his chair back to his side of the table.
    “Christopher and I are in love, but he wants to bring a woman into our relationship. Since he couldn’t seem to get a date, he made me put my profile on the dating website. You’re pretty nice and