Free Kev by Mark A Labbe

time-lagged
moron.”
    “Who are you?”
    “I’m Aputi, you dolt!”
    “Oh. Sorry, don’t remember you, but I tend to
forget things. So, what is all this about the end of the
universe?”
    “If you don’t get me the yellow cube, the
universe will end. You have to find the girl.”
    “What girl?”
    “The girl with the yellow cube.”
    “Oh. What’s her name?”
    “Now, if I knew that I would find her myself.
Only you can find her.”
    “Well, how am I supposed to find her if I
don’t know who she is?” I cried, annoyed as could be. But then, I
remembered. The girl, my girl, had the yellow cube, and under no
circumstances whatsoever was I to give Aputi the yellow cube.
However, my memories of Aputi were vague at best. What exactly
would he do if he had the yellow cube? It had to be something
bad.
    “Look, just find the girl and get me the
cube.”
    “And if I say no?” I said.
    “Then you die.”
    That didn’t sit well with me at all. “What?
You’re going to kill me?”
    “Yes.”
    “I’m going to the police,” I said.
    “It won’t do a bit of good. Anyway, if you
don’t cooperate, I won’t honor our deal.”
    “What deal?”
    “I agreed not to kill any more people until
you get me the cube.”
    Aputi disappeared.
    I vaguely remembered Barry telling me that
something like six hundred thousand people had exploded recently,
and wondered if this had something to do with Aputi. If it did,
then hadn’t he already broken whatever agreement we had?

 
    Flustered and a little frightened, I went
back into my workroom to check my messages on the communication
device, hoping that would help me take my mind off things.
    Scanning my messages, I found one from the
girl, “Meet me at the Lost Hope Hotel on Riddent.”
    I pulled out the blue cube and said, “Cube,
take me to the Lost Hope Hotel on Riddent,” and appeared on a
balcony overlooking a mile high drop into a vast sea. To my right I
saw two aliens, both purple and four-legged, with yellow eyes, arms
with pincers, and mandibles protruding from their egg-shaped
heads.
    “Well, we’re never going to make our numbers
for the quarter, Blurp,” said one.
    “I know. What is the point in living if we
can’t make our numbers?” said the other.
    The two aliens jumped off the balcony. “What
the hell?” I shouted, as I watched them disappear in the
distance.
    “It happens,” said the girl, now standing
beside me.
    “They just killed themselves.”
    “This is a popular spot for suicides.
Weddings too. You and I were married here,” said the girl.
    “We were?”
    “Yeah, beautiful ceremony. All our friends
were here. Of course, three of them killed themselves, but let’s
not dwell on that.”
    “Aputi was at my house. By the way, thanks
for redecorating.”
    “Anything for you.”
    “Anything? Then, maybe you can tell me what
the hell is going on.”
    The girl laughed and kissed me. “Rules are
rules. So, do you want to make love?”
    “Right here?”
    “No, dummy. In our suite.”
    “Oh, right. Okay.”
    Some time later, lying in bed, my arm wrapped
around her, I said, “Have I mentioned Aputi before?”
    “He wants the yellow cube.”
    “Yeah. He says he is going to kill everyone
on Earth if I don’t get the yellow cube for him. I think so,
anyway. You have it, right? He says he is going to kill me too if I
don’t get it for him.”
    “I doubt he’ll kill you, but I’m sure he’ll
kill everyone else.”
    “Really? How do I stop him?”
    “Well, he is a Bladrithian, so he is hard to
kill, but if you went back in time far enough and found him, you
might be able to kill him.”
    “Kill? I don’t want to kill anyone. There has
to be some other way to stop him.”
    “You could ask him nicely.”
    “Not helpful. You know, Barry at the bar said
something about Canadians killing thousands of people in the same
way Clive was killed. I think Aputi had something to do with
that.”
    “Duh, Kev. Aputi is the mastermind.