Free At Your Service: Tammer by Lila Munro

the stray tear or two that betrayed her and escaped anyway. “Just cleaning up a bit. I’ll bring you a warm cloth in just a second.”
    After washing her face and her leg, Nina got a fresh cloth and wet it before returning to her room to find Tammer propped up in bed. He’d turned on another lamp in the corner, something she wished he hadn’t done. Too much light afforded him to see her features and him seeing her doubting and out of sorts was the last thing she wanted.
    “You’re lying,” he said flatly while she busied herself cleaning him off and avoiding his eyes. “What’s wrong?”
    “Probably the same thing that’s wrong with you, but I doubt we should say it out loud. If we do it might mean you never come back,” Nina she snapped, throwing the cloth down and turning away from him. “Or you never leave. I don’t think we should do that again. Playing fine, because that’s what My Liege wants. And just so we’re clear, I do love My Liege and I want to make him happy.”
    “I know you love him, but what about what makes you happy?” Tammer said. “If me being here makes you unhappy, I can tell your Liege I can’t do this anymore.”
    “No, God damn it. Your presence doesn’t make me unhappy,” Nina shouted and spun to face him. “Your presence does just the opposite and it scares the fuck out of me.”
    “You’re afraid of being happy?” The man looked stunned. “Why would you fear happiness?”
    “No, I’m not afraid of being happy, I’m afraid of being happy with you . I’m not sure I know how to do this,” Nina admitted. “Make him happy and ride the fine line he’s drawn. I’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t one of his mind fucks gone awry to test me. To see if I can truly be faithful to him with him wandering in and out like a damn drifter.”
    “Have you considered maybe he’s not testing you, but himself?” he asked, sitting up and letting one leg dangle off the side of the bed. “I can’t imagine this has been the easiest thing for him, but it’s something he clearly recognized you need and he’s willing to bow to. I understand he’s shared you before under orchestrated circumstances, but never like this. Don’t you imagine it’s testing his boundaries as much as it is yours?”
    Before Nina could answer, the front pocket of Tammer’s discarded jeans lit up and his phone rang. She bent and retrieved it to see he had an incoming message.
    “Speak of the devil,” she mumbled, tossing the device at him and moving to sit with her back to him on the end of the bed.
    “He couldn’t get you so he messaged me. Wants to know if you’re okay. Where is your phone exactly?”
    “Downstairs on the catch all.”
    “Note to self, buy a damn chain to tie Nina’s phone around her neck,” Tammer said. “What would you like me to tell him?” When she didn’t answer, the mattress lifted and Tammer came to stand in front of her, holding his phone up the screen flashing with Joel’s words. “What would you like me to tell him? Answer me.”
    “That I’m fine,” Nina said lifelessly. “He never knows anything other than that. It’s not safe for him to think anything’s wrong. Distracted men make mistakes.”
    “Don’t I know it,” Tammer seemed to force out, his fingers flying with his reply. In a matter of a few seconds, his phone buzzed again. “If you want me gone, now’s the time to speak, Nina. I can put a stop to all this right now. The choice is yours. Make it.”
    Nina’s heart clutched at the thought of never seeing Tammer again and again at the thought of not pleasing Joel. As miserable as she knew she’d be playing pretend in this game of charades, she could only concede to one answer. “I don’t want you gone,” she said, bowing her head and running her hands through her hair, acknowledging the truth.
    After a few more exchanges between the two men, Tammer closed his text function and after placing his phone on the dresser, he came back and