Free Bad Bridesmaid by Portia MacIntosh Page B

deep down somewhere because what I see as silly little mistakes my sister sees as me being on a one-woman quest to ruin her wedding.
    ‘Hello again,’ a strong Australian accent snaps me from my thoughts.
    I turn around to see a big, buff blonde dude walking out of the sea, not unlike that scene in Casino Royale where Daniel Craig emerges from the water in his little blue trunks. A soaking wet golden retriever with a tennis ball in its mouth follows him closely.
    I glance behind me to see if he’s talking to someone else – certain I have never met this man before in my life – but there’s no one there.
    ‘Hi,’ I say cautiously.
    ‘How are you?’ he asks, flashing me his perfectly white teeth as he smiles. I may not have a clue who he is, but he’s gorgeous.
    ‘I’m OK. You?’
    ‘I’m great… you don’t remember me, do you?’
    I shake my head. This man is convinced he knows me but this is the first time I have left the house since I got here and I don’t know when or where else we could have possibly met.
    ‘We’ve met?’
    ‘Yes,’ he says confidently. ‘You’re from the big house.’
    The handsome Aussie points towards the beach house behind me.
    I stare at him thoughtfully as I run my hand through my hair and rack my brains but I still don’t have any idea who he is.
    The handsome Aussie laughs.
    ‘A couple of days ago you asked me for the time. From your balcony,’ he laughs.
    ‘Oh! That was you?’ I ask. ‘Were you Australian then, too?’
    I don’t remember that man being so handsome or having an accent of note, then again I had just woken up and I had a lot on my mind.
    ‘No, this is just something I’m trying out today to pull chicks,’ he jokes. ‘Yes, of course I was Australian then.’
    ‘Well, you never know,’ I tease. ‘After all, it says “lifeguard” on your shorts, doesn’t mean you are one.’
    ‘So you’re looking at my shorts, huh?’ he replies with a wiggle of his eyebrows. ‘I am a genuine lifeguard though. Genuine Australian, genuine lifeguard.’
    ‘Oh. Sorry,’ I giggle awkwardly.
    ‘At least I’m wearing shorts,’ he teases, nodding towards my outfit.
    ‘It’s a long story.’ I sigh. ‘Sometimes I wear clothes.’
    ‘Only sometimes, huh?’
    At this stage in our flirting his dog grows tired of waiting and drops the ball at his master’s feet. Just in case he doesn’t take the hint, the dog barks.
    ‘Just a second, Jay,’ the man says to his dog. ‘Well, maybe next time you have clothes on if you want to–’
    Jay barks again impatiently, quashing any chance the lifeguard had of being smooth.
    ‘I work just down the beach, there’s a café there. I’ll buy you a–’
    Jay barks again, only louder and more aggressively this time. I can’t believe I’m getting cockblocked by a dog.
    ‘I’ll leave you boys to play fetch,’ I tell him as I wander off.
    ‘Wait,’ the sexy lifeguard calls after me. ‘I don’t even know your name.’
    I shrug my shoulders.
    ‘If you tell me yours I’ll tell you mine,’ he jokes, but he’s starting to sound the tiniest little bit desperate now.
    ‘You’ll figure it out,’ I call back.
    As I stroll back to towards the house it seems like my luck might be changing. A sexy new friend will certainly make my stay here a lot more fun.
    When I set out for my walk I didn’t think for a moment that a hot, Australian lifeguard was going to emerge from the sea. One thing is for sure though, I won’t be throwing this fish back just yet.
    ***
    ‘Hello,’ I say nervously as I walk into my bedroom, worried Bridezilla might be waiting for me so that she can bite my head off.
    I spy Belle sitting on the floor. She seems a lot calmer now, and is unwrapping more clothes.
    ‘Belle, I’m really sorry about before,’ I tell her sincerely. ‘I didn’t know about that superstition, or I would have never done that. I thought I was helping.’
    ‘It’s OK,’ my sister says calmly. ‘You weren’t to know,