Free In My Head by S.L. Schiefer

didn’t know that there were limitations on what someone’s favorite color could be.”
    Trying to sound outraged I say, “I would never judge you. I’m not a judgmental person.”
    Chuckling he replies, “I know. I’m just giving you a hard time. Okay, so how about we try a harder one. When did you lose your virginity?”
    Embarrassment floods my cheeks. “Are you sure this is something you really want to ask? Because I really don’t want to answer it. I mean, I haven’t even known you long enough for you to even justify asking me that.” This time I don’t have to fake the outrage.
    “Your choice. Answer it or don’t. But if you don’t there will be consequences.” His voice staying even the whole time, but I can see on his face that he really doesn’t want me to answer.
    I lower my head, but stare at him through my lashes. I can’t believe he would really ask me that, but I don’t really know him so I can’t even say that I can’t believe he wouldn’t do this. I really have no idea what he has the balls to do.
    But, god help me if I don’t want to find out.
    What the hell kind of person am I?
    “I’m passing.”
    I hear a sharp intake of breath. “Stand up.”
    Pushing out of the chair, I stand to my full height of five foot three. When he steps up to be toe to toe with me, I’m forced to notice everything about him. The way his breathing has picked up, the way that he’s nervously running his hand through his hair, the way he’s looking at me like he’s ready to devour me.
    Making me feel desired. Wanted.
    “Kiss me.” The words were said on an exhale, barely above a whisper. But I had no problem hearing him.
    His eyes bore into mine, waiting for my decision. Waiting to see what I’ll do.
    I want to feel his lips press into mine. I want to know what his hands feel like on my body. I want to know what the planes of his stomach feel like.
    But I can’t.

 
     
     
    I’VE BEEN AVOIDING Ben as much as possible. It’s been pretty easy, he’s been busy with the renovations. Leaving me at home more with the kids and no help. Me being alone is turning into a bad thing. All I’ve done is think about running away from Bronson.
    The guilt I feel at even letting it get to that point is so overwhelming that I can barely focus on anything else.
    I’ve been working so hard on keeping the house clean. Well, cleaner than normal. I’ve been waking up at the crack of dawn to make sure I’m up before the kids. It’s so hard. I’m so exhausted every day. I get headaches nonstop. I find myself wanting to take naps during the day. And then when Ben does come home, I’m in no mood to be intimate with him. I make sure he has his dinner and the minute it’s time to put the kids to bed I do.
    Like today, all I want to do is be at home, sitting on the couch. But I decided to take the kids to the park to get us all out of that house for a little bit. Kay has been running around and jumping between all the different equipment. Kody seems to be content at sitting right in front of me playing with some toys I brought for him.
    I’m scrolling through Facebook on my phone being nosy without posting anything myself. I always think it’s weird that people post a minute by minute update on their lives. I wonder if anyone will ever tell them that no one else cares?
    I switched from Facebook to Pinterest. If given the time and patience, and honestly the inclination, I could spend a lot of time on Pinterest. Pinning things I have no intention of ever doing. But everything is nice to look at. When I notice movement out of the corner of my eye I look over and I see a woman, that looks around my age, sat down on a bench close to me. But I don’t pay any attention to her. I continue on my Pinterest binge.
    After some time passes, I finally hear the woman talk. “Excuse me, can you tell me what time it is?”
    I glance over at her and then back down at my phone in my hand. “It’s almost four o’clock.”
    “Ugh,