Free Ruthless by Jonathan Clements

fur.
    "They want to be...?"
    "Devolved. Lose the hands, get their wings back, go and live up on a clifftop somewhere and fly around all day looking for worms."
    "For Vulf Sternhammer," said Wulf, "that would get very boring very fast."
    "Get this," said Malcolm. "It gets boring for them, too. We get forty per cent re-admissions. Anyone with any cash left wants the operation reversed, but most of them blew their wad getting the snip in the first place."
    "What happens to them?"
    "They end up on welfare, moaning about what a snecky deal they got."
    A bing-bong noise heralded another approaching tannoy announcement. Malcolm swiftly stuffed the cotton wool back in his ears. Wulf had to make do with his fingers.
    "But if they have the money," yelled Wulf over the noise. "You can help them, jah ?"
    Malcolm shrugged.
    "Here? No. You want someone to put hands back on or reverse a devolution, you need the big boys."
    "And where are they?"
    A beeping noise issued from Malcolm's pocket.
    "Look," he said. "I'd better take this, you set?"
    "The annex?" added Wulf, quizzically.
    Malcolm was fishing a small black pager from his pocket. He waved down a corridor to the left and made an upward jerking motion with his hand.
    "Straight down," he said, partly distracted by the message on his pager. "And up the first flight on the left. Hmmm..."
    "Come on, Gronk," said Wulf. "Play time is over."
    Wails of frustrated delight rose from both the Gronk and his new friend.
    "Now," said Wulf, already fretting over what Johnny was doing. "Before der others get here."
    "See you around," said Malcolm. "I've just got a goodie. Some nut in the ER thinks he's half-man, half-squid."
    Behind him came the sound of a surprised squeal, as a Gronk was snatched and dragged bodily up the corridor. Heavy Viking footfalls sprinted for the annex.
     
    "We were going to Mars," said Nigel. "We wanted to run. But it's been ten years, Johnny. Ten years since we quit Earth. Our passports were up."
    Johnny shook his head in disbelief.
    "Is that it? This is about your damn passports?"
    "Ruthie's still has her maiden name on it!" hissed Nigel. "Do you honestly think someone at the Terran embassy wouldn't drop a dime when they saw it?"
    "Why didn't you come to me?"
    "It's not as easy as you think," said Nigel.
    "I know people."
    "You arrest people."
    "For Ruthie, I would call in favours," said Johnny.
    "Johnny, Ruth is pure. We both are. I know that a lot of you... er... genetically different people change their names at will, and travel in steerage and all kinds of sneck, but we can't do that."
    "Third-class travel not good enough for you?"
    "Johnny, please. We were planning something a lot lower-grade than that."
    "There's nothing lower than third class, dufus, not unless you were going in the hold."
    "Bingo," said Nigel, sounding almost pleased. "I got her a stasis pod."
    "You were sending her as cargo?"
    "I think she was going as coffee. Or plywood or something."
    "You snecking idiot."
    "It seemed like a good idea at the-"
    "You need someone you trusted at this end, and someone you trust at the other end, otherwise you end up chump-dumped. Did you think of that?"
    "Of course," said Nigel, indignant. "I was still awake. I made sure she was okay."
    "Oh yeah? You did a bang up job by the looks of it!" growled Johnny. Nigel was lucky he was already in a hospital bed. Otherwise Johnny would have put him in one himself.
    "The deal went wrong," said Nigel.
    "With who?"
    "I found some guys."
    "Some guys? What? Did you put an ad in the paper?"
    "Friends of friends of friends," said Nigel, unhelpfully. "Listen, it doesn't matter."
    "Oh, I think it does."
    "They said they would smuggle us offworld. I wanted to watch them put Ruth under, you know, so I could be sure."
    Johnny's mouth hung open. "How could you be so stupid?"
    "I was desperate, okay."
    "Desperately stupid, more like."
    "The deal went wrong and I got hurt in the struggle. When the cops arrived, I told them that Ruthie did