Free Harold Pinter Plays 2 by Harold Pinter

how you regard this room. I mean it depends whether you regard this room as furnished or unfurnished. See what I mean?
    DAVIES. No, I don’t.
    MICK. All this furniture, you see, in here, it’s all his, except the beds, of course. So what it is, it’s a fine legal point, that’s what it is.
    Pause.
    DAVIES. I tell you he should go back where he come from!
    MICK (turning to look at him). Come from?
    DAVIES. Yes.
    MICK. Where did he come from?
    DAVIES. Well … he … he.…
    MICK. You get a bit out of your depth sometimes, don’t you?
    Pause.
    (Rising, briskly.) Well, anyway, as things stand, I don’t mind having a go at doing up the place.…
    DAVIES. That’s what I wanted to hear!
    MICK. No, I don’t mind.  
    He turns to face DAVIES .
    But you better be as good as you say you are.
    DAVIES. What do you mean?
    MICK. Well, you say you’re an interior decorator, you’d better be a good one.
    DAVIES. A what?
    MICK. What do you mean, a what? A decorator. An interior decorator.
    DAVIES. Me? What do you mean? I never touched that. I never been that.
    MICK. You’ve never what?
    DAVIES. No, no, not me, man. I’m not an interior decorator. I been too busy. Too many other things to do, you see. But I … but I could always turn my hand to most things … give me … give me a bit of time to pick it up.
    MICK. I don’t want you to pick it up. I want a first-class experienced interior decorator. I thought you were one.
    DAVIES. Me? Now wait a minute— wait a minute—you got the wrong man.
    MICK. How could I have the wrong man? You’re the only man I’ve spoken to. You’re the only man I’ve told, about my dreams, about my deepest wishes, you’re the only one I’ve told, and I only told you because I understood you were an experienced first-class professional interior and exterior decorator.
    DAVIES. Now look here—
    MICK. You mean you wouldn’t know how to fit teal-blue, copper and parchment linoleum squares and have those colours re-echoed in the walls?
    DAVIES. Now, look here, where’d you get—?
    MICK. You wouldn’t be able to decorate out a table in afro-mosia teak veneer, an armchair in oatmeal tweed and a beech frame settee with a woven sea-grass seat?
    DAVIES. I never said that!
    MICK. Christ! I must have been under a false impression!
    DAVIES. I never said it!
    MICK. You’re a bloody impostor, mate!
    DAVIES. Now you don’t want to say that sort of thing to me. You took me on here as caretaker. I was going to give you a helping hand, that’s all, for a small . . for a small wage, I never said nothing about that … you start calling me names—
    MICK. What is your name?
    DAVIES. Don’t start that—
    MICK. No, what’s your real name?
    DAVIES. My real name’s Davies.
    MICK. What’s the name you go under?
    DAVIES. Jenkins!
    MICK. You got two names. What about the rest? Eh? Now come on, why did you tell me all this dirt about you being an interior decorator?
    DAVIES. I didn’t tell you nothing! Won’t you listen to what I’m saying?
    Pause.
    It was him who told you. It was your brother who must have told you. He’s nutty! He’d tell you anything, out of spite, he’s nutty, he’s half way gone, it was him who told you.
    MICK
w
a
lks slowly to him.
    MICK. What did you call my brother?
    DAVIES. When?
    MICK. He’s what?
    DAVIES. I … now get this straight.…
    MICK. Nutty? Who’s nutty?
    Pause.
    Did you call my brother nutty? My brother. That’s a bit of …. that’s a bit of an impertinent thing to say, isn’t it?
    DAVIES. But he says so himself!
    MICK walks slowly round DAVIES ’ figure, regarding him, once. He circles him, once.
    MICK. What a strange man you are. Aren’t you? You’re really strange. Ever since you come into this house there’s been nothing but trouble. Honest. I can take nothing you say at face value. Every word you speak is open to any number of different interpretations. Most of what you say is lies. You’re violent, you’re erratic, you’re just completely