Free In Certain Circles by Elizabeth Harrower

advertisement. He seems to be listening to something that happened a long time ago, when he would have been more at home.
    The other man in the office is Tom Crane. Tom is thirty and is married and has some little children, too. We are all new together. This is like Stephen’s company, with the main office in Melbourne. They have just opened this branch. They sell office equipment. All over the state, all over Australia, thousands and thousands of men are driving into the country selling things—shoes, soft drinks. Tom’s excited about his job, too, but he and Jim are different from each other and pretend when they meet, and put on important looks, like native chiefs trying to petrify each other. Tom is handsome and full of high spirits, but worries about supporting his family. This is what Jim worries about, and maybe this is why they are secretive and competitive. They both need to seem best to head office. For a couple of days they’re friendly, then yesterday they tried to squash each other’s bright ideas, jumping on words as if they were demolishing buildings.
    Have soaked washing. Must hang out under house now. Will then read. Go to City Library every second day more or less for books. Would like wireless. Must make list.

    Zoe came in with Russell’s latest letter. Lily is having a baby. They are very happy.

    Yesterday I went into the Botanic Gardens to lie down on the grass. Here, there is nowhere except your room. In the gardens you see other people alone. You have to walk miles to find flowers, so I looked at trees instead, reading their labels. After that I lay down in the middle of acres of grass. It smelled warm. When you are young, you are supposed never to be tired. Mr and Mrs Howard and all their friends go so fast.
    â€˜Imagine sleeping away your weekends!’ they said.
    â€˜I like to lie down in the open air. I don’t go to sleep.’
    â€˜Is it the office that’s troubling you?’
    Anna had laughed. After three weeks in the office, she had known that no emergency was beyond her. The days were busy, but as though she were playing a game in the course of which it was essential to make a move every two seconds. The ease of it delighted her. Just how long she would be able to feel pleasure in a process so undemanding, she had not asked herself. That the game was far different for the two men, she could see: they had to brace themselves every day to go into the line of fire, at the mercy of others.
    Still, it was a fact that she tired easily, and had no choice but to lie in the sun when she could. She lay with her face down, her forehead and cheeks and bare arms pricked by the short mown grass. She breathed the fresh earth odours and they fed her. She lay so heavily relaxed and weary that she seemed to sink and grow into the comfortable ground. And as though it were a person, she began to feel fond of the country, from being so close to it.
    The Howards looked at Anna, taking a rapid interest before leaving for a theatre, and Anna looked back as though she were a china ornament. As they strolled past the windows on their way to the car, Mr Howard said, ‘She’s a strange child. Probably only suffering from adolescence.’
    Inside the house, selecting records, Zoe and Anna overheard and exchanged looks.
    Anna continued to write.
    Foreign men keep talking to you in the gardens. Dark foreign men most often, but some fair ones, too. They are all migrants, very polite and lonely. They practise their English. The main thing about them is loneliness.
    Always willing to listen and talk, Anna also always went away. She would not waste anyone’s small deposit of hope.
    Keep imagining have lost money out of bag. Have decided to write down what get and what spend. Tom gave me old account book. I told Jim girls managed, but don’t know how unless they earn more than I do. Stephen said would help with rent till income improves. Otherwise, would have had to stay