Free Finding Their Balance by M.Q. Barber

“I’ve been blessed to discover that joy twice over.”
    Not blessing but—“Skill.”
    “Talent,” Emma said, their words overlapping.
    As they traded a stare, her flicker of irritation disappeared in the other woman’s subtle smile.
    “Blessed is good. I’m blessed, too. And I’ll let Henry pick his own words.” Flashing his tongue at her, Jay drummed the arms of his chair. “We ready to rock this?”
    “Certainly.” Emma wrote a name across the envelope. Master something. “I’ll leave this with Caitlyn and walk up with you.”
    With the letter slotted into a numbered box behind the reception desk, they climbed the grand staircase. Emma, in her flowing white dress with its floral silhouettes in navy, led their troupe. Her low heels matched the blue, naturally. “I’ve put you on the third floor. The classroom setting seemed appropriate.”
    The green-ribboned staffer at the second-floor bag check nodded as they passed.
    “I appreciate your commitment, Henry.” Making the climb, Emma spoke without turning back. “I know you’ve other calls on your time and skills.”
    “I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t find it valuable and rewarding, Em.” Henry rapped his knuckles on the banister. “My time is my own. I choose to spend it in this endeavor.”
    “Still. Your assistance is a godsend. Things have been sliding.” At the top, Emma waited with her back stiff and her face pinched. “Too many things, for too long.”
    Henry planted his feet beside her and dipped his head. “You might’ve asked for help earlier, sverchok .”
    The falling tone of Emma’s hum suggested otherwise. “Stress does strange things.” She pushed a tiny laugh through a strained smile. “You’ve seen nervous and confused novices strangling themselves in knots. Grateful for what’s given and afraid to be labeled a burden.”
    Like a woman so afraid of throwing a wrench in the gears she’d segregate herself from her lovers for months while they all silently wished for more togetherness. Alice banged her toes reaching for the next step.
    “You haven’t been a novice in a long while, Em.” Frowning, Henry touched her shoulder. “And you’ve never been a burden. Either I’ve been a poor friend, or you’ve been a skilled liar.”
    “Or I thought I might handle a few things myself.” Arms folded, Emma hugged her elbows. “And discovered a problem larger than I could manage.”
    “I did, too.” Shit, she came off the stairs and tumbled into their conversation with the subtlety of a rodeo clown. “Wanted to handle everything myself at first.” No way Emma needed a distraction or a rescue, and she sure as hell wasn’t the woman to offer one. And yet. “I got all turned around and panicked.”
    Rocking back a step, Henry pressed his hand to the middle button of his jacket. He glanced from her to Emma and back again. “I specifically told you—multiple times—to come to me, Alice.”
    “I didn’t realize then how tiny things mattered so much. How they piled up.” Did they ever. Festering wounds and unanswered questions were the worst. “I thought I’d only bother you for big stuff. But big-small is a slippery emotional slope. I couldn’t calculate the difference.”
    “You didn’t accept that those decisions belonged in my hands.” Cupping her cheek, Henry rolled his thumb across her lips. “You harbored a nascent, unformed concept of submission.”
    She did still. Her whole system came together patchwork quilt-style. Complex systems like sex and love deserved the certainty of Euclidean geometry or Newtonian mechanics, not all this quantum Heisenberg shit. What she wouldn’t give for a fucking manual.
    “I was nascenter than Alice.” Hands in his pockets, Jay teetered heel-toe. “I didn’t ask questions I should’ve or protect myself. Giving away all the decisions? Two words: thrill ride.”
    “You, my dear boy—” Henry tugged him forward by his shirt and slapped a kiss on his mouth.