Free Into the Light by Ellen O'Connell Page A

whispered, hearing an echo of what she’d told her mysterious stranger. “I envy Beth not because she’s going but because she has the courage to go. I feel safe here, and I don’t want to go anywhere. I’m content.”
    “A young woman like you should want more than content. You need to think on what would make you happy and stop worrying about Em and me. If you’re happy here and want to stay, this is your home and that’s fine, but this place will go to Eli’s boys sooner or later. They’ll marry, have children, and if any of us ever need taking care of in our dotage, they can do it. No one’s going to be alone out here starving because you didn’t play nurse.”
    Deborah sat up, thought about hugging him, and didn’t, knowing it would be as awkward as his pat on her shoulder. “I love you, you know.”
    “We love you too. Take a little nap now, why don’t you, and when you come back down find something to do other than helping with the wash. Lucy and Em can do that. You take it easy.”
    She ought to do the entire wash by herself after causing this much trouble. “I won’t do too much.”
    If he caught her fudge, he gave no sign. On the way out of the room, he picked up the soiled basin and took it with him.
    Caleb often said Jason was one of the few men in the world born purely good, a natural saint, and Caleb was right. Tears welled in her eyes again.
    Miriam was right too. Uncle Jason and Aunt Em deserved better than a niece who thought about hugging and couldn’t bring herself to do it.
    Deborah wiped her eyes and reached for her shoes. Enough of this malingering. Yearning for things she wasn’t brave enough to reach for when offered was as foolish as setting out for church every Sunday knowing she couldn’t stay in the pew more than five minutes.
    If she ignored these strange new feelings long enough, they’d fade away. They would. They just had to.

Chapter 7
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    A S THE REMAINING months of summer drifted by, Deborah’s discontent didn’t fade but settled deep inside, stealing all the contentment she had so prized. While she couldn’t even put a name to the unsettling yearning, her aunt and uncle made a diagnosis and proposed a cure.
    “How would you like to spend next month in town with your sisters?” Aunt Em asked one night at supper. “I’m sure you’d enjoy seeing Judith and the children every day, and Miriam has plenty of room.”
    “I don’t think so, thank you. Miriam hasn’t been married long enough to want a house guest for so long.”
    In fact Deborah wondered what combination of threats and bribes the family had used to get Miriam to agree to such a thing. Aunt Em would never admit what it had taken, but Deborah would find out sooner or later. Judith would offer up the story with a laugh the first time the two of them were alone.
    Convincing Aunt Em to give up on the idea took a while, but Deborah knew if missing a sister were the problem, this strange emptiness would have started when Judith left with her husband five years ago. Judith was a friend and confidante. Miriam was too spoiled and too much younger for that kind of closeness.
    Deborah went back to her supper, surprised Aunt Em had given up so easily. Busy pushing boiled carrots around on her plate, she almost missed the look that passed between her aunt and uncle. Aha! The month-long visit was only a first sally. They had another cure on offer.
    “I miss those girls myself,” Uncle Jason said, head bent over his plate as he cut a piece of chicken already bite-sized even smaller. “A month is long for a visit, but I think this year we ought to go in on Friday and have all day Saturday and Sunday afternoon at the fair. Come home Monday. Eli and Lucy think it’s a good idea too. Their boys will love it. We’ll find someone to ride over and take care of our livestock for a few days.”
    The carrots turned to tasteless mush in Deborah’s mouth. Planning a trip to town for supplies that weekend and