Free Behind Closed Doors by Ashelyn Drake

step inside, not wanting to make the situation any worse. Mindy’s room is impeccably neat. She motions to the chair in the corner, and I sit.
     
    “This is about a certain teacher’s assistant, isn’t it?” Her voice is soft and sympathetic.
     
    I nod. “I screwed up. I had no idea he was a T.A., and I sort of neglected to tell him I was an undergrad.”
     
    Mindy sighs. “Look, Julia, I’m not going to lie to you. This could get pretty bad for both of you. My advice would be to lay low for a few days. Let this blow over. On a campus this big, something else will happen and the focus will be off you and Darren. But you have to give it time. Don’t try to contact him.”
     
    Not contact him? I can’t. “But—”
     
    She shakes her head. “I’m trying to help you. If you and Darren push this right now, you’ll send Monahan and the dean over the edge.”
     
    “But Andy is Dean Decker’s son. Maybe he can—”
     
    She holds her hand up, cutting me off again. “Do you really want to drag Andy into this? You could get him in trouble, too. Dean Decker is really hard on Andy. He expects Andy to be the model student and R.A. Dating Noelle is already teetering on a line that Dean Decker doesn’t think Andy should cross.”
     
    I had no idea Dean Decker objected to Andy dating Noelle. The last thing I want is for Noelle to feel the way I do now. Mindy’s right. I have to stay away from Darren. At least until this blows over. If this blows over.

Chapter Nine
     
    Staying away from Darren for a week is heartbreaking, but I don’t call or text because I’m worried that Mindy is right. I’m worried I’ll only make things worse, and possibly hurt Andy and Noelle in the process. Even though I’m in no mood to attend classes, Noelle makes me, hoping it will keep my mind off Darren. It doesn’t. Every class I have with Monahan just reminds me of what’s missing from my life. Darren.
     
    Noelle watches me gather my books, but she doesn’t say anything. She’s being so careful to not upset me lately, and I hate it. I’ve never been this girl. I’ve never cried over a guy. Maybe this is why I’ve only had two real boyfriends. I thought I wanted what Noelle and Andy have, but if it means having to endure this kind of heartache, I’m not sure it’s worth it.
     
    “Ready to go?” Noelle asks, her bag already slung over her shoulder.
     
    I look at her and pause. “Can I ask you something?”
     
    “Of course.” She lowers her bag and sits down on her bed.
     
    I walk over and join her. “I need an honest answer though.”
     
    “When have I ever lied to you?” She gives me a look like I should know better.
     
    “Okay.” I take a deep breath, not sure I want to know the answer to my question. “If you lost Andy tomorrow, would you wish you’d never had him to begin with? I mean, would the pain of losing him be greater than the time you spent together?”
     
    “Wow.” She fidgets with her hands in her lap. “That’s tough to answer, Julia.”
     
    “I know, but I have to know if I was stupid for even putting myself in a situation to get hurt like this.”
     
    She meets my eyes. “You mean opening yourself up to the possibility of a real relationship?”
     
    I nod. “Maybe it’s not worth it. Not at our age at least.”
     
    “I don’t want to believe that. I know it’s not likely that who we date now will be ‘the one’ but it wasn’t likely that Andy and I would’ve gotten together in the first place.”
     
    I know what she means. They met at orientation, and she slept with him. It wasn’t typical Noelle behavior. And how many college hook-ups turn into relationships? She and Andy are already beating the odds.
     
    Noelle gives me a small smile. “I don’t have the answer, but I do know that I wouldn’t trade what Andy and I have for anything. If I get my heart broken…” She shrugs. “I still wouldn’t change anything about our relationship.”
    That’s what I was