Free 50 Ways of Saying Fabulous Book 1 20th Anniversary Edition by Graeme Aitken Page B

always a very exciting game and soon everyone had forgotten the disappointment of the treasure hunt. Aunt Evelyn had generously allowed two king size blocks of chocolate and also kept a few squares in reserve for those children who missed out altogether.
    After the chocolate game, it was time for birthday tea. Lou had devised the menu in unsolicited consultation with me. There were Cheerios with tomato sauce, sausage rolls, fairy bread, potato chips, two whole pavlovas and a two-tone jelly. Lou sat at the head of the table and I made sure I sat in close vicinity to one of the pavlovas, which were lavishly decorated with chocolate chips and sliced Chinese gooseberries. Aunt Evelyn hovered about, making sure everyone was helping themselves and not feeling shy. She saw me take my second piece of pavlova and promptly moved the plate down the other end of the table. Luckily, I’d had the foresight to take the largest piece on the plate.
    Once everything had been eaten, Aunt Evelyn turned off the lights and dashed into the kitchen. A few seconds later she reappeared bearing the birthday cake with twelve candles burning tentatively. She set the cake down in front of Lou and kissed her on the cheek. Then she began to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ in her commanding voice. Everyone else was so in awe of Aunt Evelyn’s volume that they all just mimed their way through the song.
    I could see Lou cringing. She hated it when her mother sang. She always complained that she sang too loudly and drew too much attention to herself and that it was showing off. I could see what she meant. After all it was only ‘Happy Birthday’ and not the finale of
The King and I
.
    When Aunt Evelyn had finished, everyone chorused for Lou to make a wish. She blew the candles out so forcefully that several of them were ejected from the cake. It was a lamington cake which I had advised Lou to request. Aunt Evelyn miscalculated cutting it up and ended up with three extra slices. After everyone had disposed of their first pieces, she offered around seconds. I was first to stick out my plate. I had been waiting for her to offer.
    Aunt Evelyn looked at me doubtfully. ‘No, Billy,’ she said firmly, ‘I think one piece is plenty for you. You don’t want to go putting on even more weight.’
    I was stunned. I had never been refused food before. No one had ever told me in my entire life that I shouldn’t eat something. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I was always being told I was a growing boy and urged to eat as much as I possibly could. I was so surprised. Then someone giggled and the first flush of humiliation began to creep into my face. I put my plate down and stared at the table cloth. Luckily, everyone was so busy jostling for the last pieces of cake that no one was paying any attention to me. By the time the commotion had passed, I had stopped crying and wiped my eyes on my party hat.
    After the cake, Arch Sampson pulled me aside. ‘You gotta help me, Fats. We’re gonna ambush Roy an’ pull his pants down an’ find out what he’s got down there.’
    I didn’t like the new name that Arch had come up with for me. I knew I should refuse to help him if he was going to call me names but I was curious to see this man-sized thing between Roy’s skinny legs. ‘Okay,’ I said.
    Everyone ran outside to play a game of kiss-tig as the sun went down, before the mothers arrived to collect their sons and daughters. Roy loped along with the others. ‘You lure him over near the drive, behind the hedge,’ instructed Arch. ‘Then I’ll grab him in a headlock an’ you sit on his chest an’ I’ll pull his pants down.’
    I sidled up to Roy and told him I’d saved some chocolate for him. ‘Come over by the hedge, so no one else sees and grabs it,’ I said.
    Roy grinned and I quickly looked away. I felt so treacherous, seeing him so easily pleased and knowing it was a trick. But those finer feelings were a mere twinge, quickly overcome by a more urgent