Free Home From Within by Jennifer McCartney, Lisa Maggiore

still on Jessica’s as she pulled it off slowly.
    “No, we were just talking about how boys can be real assholes.”
    “Oh,” Paul said. “Well, I hope you’re not talking about me.”
    Jessica couldn’t take it. Without thinking, she jumped up and headed outside. Her strides were quick as she made her way out the stainless steel door and onto the cement courtyard. The brightness of the sun blinded her but that didn’t slow her pace. As she passed the benches full of students and was making her way to the baseball field, she felt a pull on her arm; swinging around, she saw Paul holding onto her sleeve.
    “Just leave me alone, Paul. I can’t pine away for you anymore.”
    “Jessica, please stop.”
    Jessica tugged her shirt sleeve away from Paul’s grip. “I can’t keep watching you with all these girls. I just can’t do it anymore.”
    “Let’s talk over there,” Paul said as he motioned toward the bleachers by the baseball diamond.
    Jessica didn’t move, but her tears kept falling despite her desperate wish they go back inside. She hated crying in front of anyone; it made her feel so vulnerable.
    “Come on, there’s hardly anyone over there,” Paul said with a concerned look on his face.
    She moved away from him. It was too easy to brush up against him and forget how hurt she really felt.
    The baseball field had randomly placed puddles from the spring rainstorm that had come through the night before, and all the bleachers contained small groups of students who were eating lunch and talking. Jessica and Paul ended up on a small section of the bleacher at the very bottom, hoping this put them out of the range of gossip.
    Paul stared at Jessica as she continued to wipe away any hurt she showed him.
    “Did I do something to you?” he asked.
    “No . . . well, yes.” Jessica took a deep breath and touched the necklace Aunt Lodi gave her.
    “I feel stupid right now. You did nothing wrong. It’s me.”
    Paul looked at her unconvinced. “So is that why you said you can’t, ‘pine away,’ for me anymore?”
    Jessica felt embarrassed. “Look, you’re free to be with anyone you want. We’re not together.”
    “You can change that.”
    “What? Oh, you mean sneaking around?”
    Paul looked at her intensely. “Do you know how easy it could be? On our half days you could tell your parents you have stuff at school so you have to stay the whole day. Or we could change our schedules in the computer to show that we have study hall at the end of the day even though we don’t.”
    Jessica lifted her face to smell the spring breeze. It made her feel like she needed a fresh start. “On the computer?”
    “Yeah, on a day when the lady lets you enter the attendance you can change your schedule.”
    “How do you know about this?” asked Jessica.
    Paul’s devilish smile came out again. “Let’s just say I had a class or two adjusted.”
    “And your grades?”
    “No. I’m not that stupid. Plus my grades are fine.”
    Jessica stared long and hard at Paul. The idea of changing her schedule sounded so appealing. And it sounded easy to do but not now. Her parents would question it immediately.
    “I could never do that now. It’s too late in the year. My parents would investigate that in a second.”
    “You could do it for sophomore year. We’re gonna pick our new schedule in the next couple weeks. You could add last period study hall to both of ours in the computer, print it out, and show it to your parents.”
    Jessica could hardly contain the mix of feelings running around her body and brain. “What would we do? Where would we go? I can’t be wandering around the neighborhood for my parents to see.”
    “That’s easy,” he said with a smile. “My house.”
    My house
did not sound like a safe idea to Jessica. In fact, it downright scared her. Even though she felt more comfortable around Paul, she knew he had way more experience with relationships, more specifically sex. She was not ready for that