Free No Turning Back (Full Circle) by Casey Peeler

I’ve had a great time, but they were giving me a hard time already.”
     
    “What do you mean hard time ?” He says with that cute grin and a little chuckle.
     
    “Cash, you know how girls talk.  They probably think we’re on some back road getting our freak on!”
     
    “I like how those girls think, and you know your wish is my command.” 
     
    I slap his arm.
     
    “That is so not funny!”
     
    After a few minutes of awkward silence, he finally speaks.
     
    “You promise you’re coming home soon?  Blue misses you really bad.”
     
    “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that Blue isn’t only one person that misses me,” I smirk.
     
    We pay the bill, and of course, Cash insists on paying.  There is no use in me arguing.  We walk out to say goodbye.  These goodbyes are really starting to get old. 
     
    He walks me to the Honda and opens the door, but before I can get in, he pulls me close to him and hugs me like he is never going to let go.
     
    “Cash...” And before I have time to finish my sentence, his lips are on mine.  He is kissing me with every ounce of his being, and I want nothing more than to kiss him back, so I do.
     
    Undoubtedly, we must be causing a scene because we hear people laying on their horn.  The sounds bring me back to reality.  I can’t believe I just kissed Cash.  I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt him again; I know he thinks there is hope between us.  I know in my heart I love him, but I’m afraid that being with him will only hurt him more.  I have so much life to live outside Grassy Pond, and I want to discover myself without a guy attached to me.
     
    I pull away from Cash’s perfect lips and try to get into the car.  I know this isn’t going to be easy.  As I turn to get in the driver’s seat, he grabs my wrist with force but yet a delicate touch.  He doesn’t want to hurt me in any way.  I turn to look at him, and that is when I know he is never going to leave me.  I know that no matter what life puts in my way, Cash will always be a part of it.  I don’t know if he will continue to be my knight in a pair of Carhartts and an F250 or if he will just continue to by my rock that I lean on, but whatever it is, I will not let him go.  I just need time.
     
    “Char, just hear me out.  Will ya?”  I nod.  “You have been the one constant in my life as long as I can remember.  I think that I have loved you for so long that I just can’t let you walk out of my life anymore.  You are what makes my heart beat.  When you walked out on me at the club that afternoon, my heart broke into a million pieces.  Then I was just pissed at you because I was the one there for you that night.  I held you in my arms and kept you safe, but yet you wanted to keep me away.  I just didn’t understand.” 
     
    He is fighting back tears.  I start to speak, but he regains his composure and puts his hand on my cheek.  The emotion that comes from that one movement is beyond words.  I am speechless, so I continue to listen because when Cash speaks he doesn’t waste words.
     
    “Then when you decided to leaving Grassy Pond, I didn’t know what to do.  I knew you wanted space, but I couldn’t let you leave without saying bye.  I had to let you know I still cared.  Charley, I’m not sure what you want, but I know what I want. You.   I am willing to wait, continue being your best friend, boyfriend, continue being your rock, but I’m not leaving ever again.  I love you and always will.”
     
    All I can do is look into those beautiful eyes, and that is all the affirmation he needs.  I don’t need to tell him how I feel, it is written all over my face.  He pulls me into his strong embrace and kisses my forehead. 
     
    “Cash, I love you too, but I want us to take this slow.  I’m not at home; I want to live my college experience to the fullest.  I do know that I never want you to walk out of my life again.  That was a pain that I never want to