Free What Happiness Looks Like (Promises) by Karen Lenfestey

yourself. I mean you already know that Anna’s dad has suddenly reappeared. But. . . .” She didn’t want to say it. She didn’t like to tell people because she still couldn’t accept that lupus controlled her life. But look at her, in her pajamas, too sore to drive her own daughter to school.
    He studied her face. “Tell me. I can handle it.”
    Probably not, but that would save them both heartache later. She took a cleansing breath like she’d learned in meditation class. “I have. . . lupus.”
    His eyes widened, shock flashed across his face. “Isn’t that. . .”
    “Fatal? It can be, but not so much anymore. To be honest, there isn’t a cure.”
    Staring at his clasped hands in his lap, he looked solemn. “Damn. You win.”
    She blinked a few times. Didn’t he mean to say, ‘I’m sorry.’ That’s what people usually said. That and ‘But you look healthy.’ She tilted her head. “Excuse me?”
    He glanced up at her. “You win. Your baggage is heavier than mine.”
    She burst out laughing as if her body desperately needed it. She had never laughed about her diagnosis before. It felt good.
    He propped his elbow on the counter. “What can I do to make you feel better?”
    “Nothing. I mean it was sweet of you to come over and make me breakfast.” She lifted her glass in acknowledgment, hoping she wouldn’t lose her grip. “But I understand that this is more than you bargained for.”
    “Hey, I’m not going to run out on you like my wife did to me.”
    “But I’m not your wife. We just met and you just got divorced. I think you should go date other women and not latch on so quickly.” How ironic that she was giving someone advice on how to move on.
    “Joely, I like you. Why don’t you let down your guard so we can get to know each other?”
    “Because it’s not only about me. I’m a mom and dating involves too much risk.”
    He waited a beat then stood. “Maybe I should go. I can show myself out.” He headed toward the foyer where he’d left his hat. “But I’m not giving up on you yet.”
    She dared to smile at his back.

 
     
     
     
    CHAPTER ELEVEN
     
    KATE
     
    Just before Mitch walked in the door, Kate deleted another message from Evan on the answering machine. She didn’t need Evan screwing things up anymore than they already were. Last night she hadn’t been able to fall asleep until she’d heard Mitch come home. She’d waited for him to crawl into bed next to her, but he hadn’t. Instead, he’d slept in the empty guest bedroom.
    Now she glanced up at him and thought he looked a tired. “You’re not working late.” She hated how it sounded accusatory rather than sweet. When did she turn into such a shrew?
    He dropped his briefcase in the large archway between the kitchen and living room. His face remained stoic as he scanned the room, probably to make sure Anna wasn’t around. “I’ve been thinking. I want to have a baby with my sperm and a donor egg. At least then the baby will be partly ours.”
    But it wouldn’t be theirs. It would be his. “I hate the idea. If we’re going to spend that kind of money, I want to try in vitro again. I read about a doctor in Chicago who offers five IVFs for the price of four. I want to try whatever it takes, over and over again to make my own baby. Our baby.”
    He shook his head. “Four IVFs? That’s sixty grand! We don’t have that kind of money. We’d probably be richer and be having a lot more fun if one of us had a gambling habit.”
    She pursed her lips. They’d never worried about money. Mitch was an engineer and she earned a smaller, yet decent, paycheck as a counselor specializing in children. “Can we at least try one more round of IVF?”
    “That’s what I’m saying. Only use a donor egg.”
    Her fingers squeezed into fists. “What about borrowing the money from your parents?” She knew it was a mistake as soon as she’d blurted it out.
    His brown eyes narrowed. His chest puffed up. “Absolutely not.