Free The Unexpected Crush, Book One (An Alpha Billionaire In Love BBW Romance) by Alexa Wilder

1
    “ C ome on Kaia ,” I muttered to myself. “Get it together.”
    Leaning against the wall of the employee bathroom, I took what felt like my first breath in half an hour. I rubbed my freshly-scrubbed hands across my face, trying to pull myself together. I’d always been high-strung. But it was that very personality trait that had allowed me to graduate from medical school at the top of my class and procure a great internship at a private hospital on the Oregon coast. At the moment, however, my nervous disposition seemed to be acting against me.
    As an Emergency Room intern, I had very little experience with operating room procedures – at least not practical experience. Sure, I’d observed a number of surgeries during medical school and a few emergency surgeries in the ER since I’d been here. But I’d never seen anyone die on the operating table before today.
    I had only been there to hold the retractors. Half of the surgical staff at St. Luke’s had come down with a massive stomach virus, and I had been loaned out from the Emergency Room at the end of my night shift to act as another set of hands during a routine surgery. At the time, I’d jumped at the opportunity – when would I ever get to see a cardiac bypass surgery?
    Thinking about that fact now, I cringed. I definitely did not need that experience at the cost of my nerves.
    Hazarding a look in the mirror, I couldn’t help but cringe again. My normally pretty face was ashen, and there were dark circles underneath my now-glassy green eyes. My brown ponytail was frizzy from spending the last few hours under a surgical cap. And, of course, there was blood all over my light blue scrubs. That was the final straw, and another wave of panic washed through my body.
    Obviously, I had no problem with blood in and of itself – I would have no place in the medical field if I did. It was the memory of the death I’d just witnessed that had me trembling. I’d seen quite a few dead bodies over the years, but I’d never seen someone die right in front of me – while I was, at least partially, responsible for that person’s wellbeing. I had always known that death was something I would need to get used to as an ER doctor, but this, as my very first experience, had been jarring.
    I knew that I should at least change, if not shower, before heading home. Right now though, I was just trying to focus on standing without shaking, which didn’t seem like a feat I could handle at the moment.
    I heard the door of the bathroom open, and a cute girl with gorgeous pore-less skin and curly dark hair walked in. I recognized her as a resident in the surgery department, though I hadn’t actually talked to her before. I was glad to see that I wasn’t the only resident who weighed over one hundred and fifty pounds. It seemed that most doctors dealt with stress by not eating, while I was always known to turn to food to help me forget about the day’s problems.
    The girl smiled at me as she washed her hands. “You must be the emergency room intern who helped out with the triple bypass,” she stated.
    “Yeah,” I answered, trying to keep my hand from trembling as I reached out to shake hers. “Kaia Davenport.”
    “I’m Carrie,” she said with a smile. “Carrie Hughes. I’m a surgical resident here.”
    “I know,” I replied. “I’ve seen you around. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
    “Yeah. Wish it were under better circumstances.”
    I cringed, realizing how fast news must have spread. I guess it was hard to miss the hustle and the alarms when someone stopped breathing on the operating table.
    “Was that the first time you’ve seen someone die during an operation?” Carrie asked when I didn’t reply.
    “Yeah,” I whispered with a shaky breath, not trusting myself to say anything else.
    Carrie put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed gently. “Last year at about this time, I was in your same position. It gets easier. I mean, it still sucks, but it gets…