Free The Unexpected Crush, Book One (An Alpha Billionaire In Love BBW Romance) by Alexa Wilder Page A

less shocking, I guess.”
    “It was really unexpected.”
    “Yeah. It usually is. But from what I heard, he was old, and the triple-bypass was a little risky anyway.”
    I nodded, trying to focus on what she was saying.
    “I would think you saw more death down in the ER than we see up here.”
    “I’ve been here less than a month,” I explained with a shrug. “It hasn’t happened yet during my shifts.”
    “Well,” Carrie said, squeezing my arm a little harder, “just remember that it wasn’t your fault. There was nothing you could do. Go home and try to relax. It will get easier, I promise!”
    “Thanks,” I replied as Carrie turned away. “It was good to meet you.”
    “You too,” Carrie said over her shoulder, with the most genuine smile I’d seen since I’d moved here. “I’m sure I’ll see you around.”
    After Carrie left, I took another minute to collect myself before heading downstairs to shower and change in the ER locker room.
    I had completed an entire shift in the ER before volunteering to help out on the surgery, so I was physically and mentally exhausted by the time I finally dragged myself through the door of my tiny apartment.
    Curling up on the sofa, I wrapped in one of my grandmother’s quilts, with a bowl of ice cream serving as dinner (even though it was technically breakfast time) and a glass of wine on the coffee table in front of me. The doctor inside me cringed at the nutritional content of my food, but I really couldn’t garner the strength to feel too guilty about my choices for sustenance right now.
    Unfortunately, food had become a coping mechanism for me in the recent months. During my final year at med school in Chicago, my boyfriend dumped me because he believed that I wasn’t “committed enough” to our relationship. I had completely rearranged by life to suit him, but I hadn’t been willing to sacrifice my grades, which is what, in the end, Scott had deemed a “lack of commitment.” Plus, as he never ceased to emphasize, he felt like I wasn’t “committed to staying fit, healthy, and attractive.” He had maliciously pointed out that I’d gained some extra weight since we’d started dating. Yes, I’d gained some weight… but I spent all of my free time with him – had even sacrificed sleep to keep our relationship strong. Between school and Scott, I hadn’t had time to exercise or worry about what I ate.
    The positive side of Scott dumping me was that I had even more time to focus on school. I was already near the top of my class, but with more time to study I quickly rose to number one. This allowed me the pick of many desirable internship positions. And, without Scott, I also had the freedom to choose a residency program anywhere in the country, not having to worry about staying close to my boyfriend. That was one of the reasons why I ended up in coastal Oregon. I’d been here once, on a road trip during the summer of my junior year at college, and I just fell in love with the nature and the laid back attitude of the people here.
    It seemed like a great change at the time, but now I found myself across the country from everyone I knew and loved, truly alone for the first time in my life. I hadn’t quite clicked with the rest of my cohort of interns, and today’s shock had shaken my confidence in the one thing I was still sure of — my ability to be a good doctor.
    “I’m not going to cry,” I told myself aloud, willing that statement to be true. Instead of giving in to tears, I took a large, rich bite of Rocky Road, savoring the taste of chocolate and marshmallows and washing it down with a sip of malbec. Once I was finished with the ice cream, I set the bowl on the table and I wrapped myself fully in the quilt. Finally, I allowed the tears to flow freely down my face, promising myself that tomorrow would be another day.

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    U nfortunately , by the time my shift began the following morning, news of the surgical mishap had traveled down to the