Free The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard by Shawn Wunjo Page A

your own glass you stupid zipperhead.” Lucifer said. “And change the fucking channel. I want to see some fucking disabled grandmothers falling into meatgrinders or some shit.”
    “That shit’s not on until later.” The sack burbled back. “Right now the best thing on is hairy swedish midgets fucking mutilated hamsters and baby dicks with clown-shaped anal beads.”
    “That’s fucking boring.” Lucifer pulled the shit brown carton of hard baby tampon milk out the rotting corpse green fridge and dumped it into an ass-shaped glass. “Fuck that shit. Stupid fucking useless TV.”
    “In another fifteen minutes that fucking penis-beaner cooking show where they chop up dead babies with cancerous hamster cunts will be on.”
    “My balls are full. I can’t wait fucking fifteen minutes.” Niggerbastard said. “Fuck this. Lets go find something else to do.”
    “Like what?” The sack of shit burbled.
    “Like fucking beating goats and shit-lobbing nigindians with ass bats and fucktarded dick hats, I don’t know.” Lucifer shook his head. “Oh my fucking god I hate my stupid life. So fucking pointless, useless and boring.”
    “No it’s not.”
    Both Lucifer Niggerbastard and the burbling sack of babyshit spun around to see where the voice had come from. Dressed in shit-stained spandex pantyhose that smelled of smegma and bulged around a dick the size of a small car, a man with elephant-sized tits and cum-dripping tentacles stepped into the house, picked up the ass shaped glass and drank the hard baby tampon milk in one gulp. Belching, he shifted, did a jig and Yodeled: “Hi fuckers!”
    “Hey! That was my milk, you stupid fucking asshole!” Lucifer shouted. “Who in the fucking shit-eating anal hells do you think you are?”
    “In lands way cooler than this stupid shithole, they call me Griswalda, the magical Ass Fairy from the shitty side of the foreskin rainbow.” He spat, groaning in a whistling baritone.
    “An Ass Fairy?” Lucifer’s eyes lit up. “No way!
    Like in Cinderella and the eighteen shit-eating midgets in furry costumes?”
    “The very same.” Griswalda squatted down, scratched his crotch.
    “Well what the fuck are you doing here?” The sack of shit burbled.
    “Setting you stupid fucks right.” He pulled out a shotgun. “This is my fucking magic wand. Do you think your lives are boring, fuckers?”
    “Shit yeah!” Lucifer spat. “My life eats shit, I have no job, no hole to fuck, my best friend is a sack of babyshit, there’s never anything good on T.V. and a fucking Ass Fairy just drank the last of my hard baby tampon milk out of my favorite ass shaped glass!”
    “Nothing lasts forever, fuckwit.” The Ass Fairy chuckled. “Shit be rolling and changing like a gender confused dildo wheel.”
    “So roll it in a fucking sweet direction, bitch!” Lucifer laughed. “Fucking interesting times and shit.”
    “Oh, I don’t have to.” Said the Ass Fairy. “Shit is already getting real fucking interesting.” He looked at the sack of Babyshit. “Turn that fucking stupid dickbox to channel Gay.”
    Burbling more babyshit onto the remote, the sack flicked the channel down to the gayest channel the TV
    had reception for, froze as a screaming bottle of anal lube filled the display.
    “Fucking niggers!” He breathed. Behind the anal lube, a starship shaped like the loose lips of a floppy cunt landed in the sand, gave birth to a thousand ugly scrotums with cum-shooting prolapse guns. “Holy shitting universe! We’re being invaded by aliens!”
    “Indeed.” Said the Ass Fairy.
    “What the fuck are we going to do?” Lucifer screamed.
    “You’re gonna fucking run like a pussy bitch, Lucifer.” The Ass Fairy grinned. “There’s a fucking boat at the end of the block that has a magic dick in the bottom of it. Jack off that magic dick, and you’ll leave the city of Troy far behind.” He handed Lucifer the shotgun. “Here, you’ll need this. Don’t let the scrotums catch