Free In Deep Shitake (A Humorous Romantic Suspense) by Patricia Mason Page A

Gigantor back? They waited expectantly as footsteps clomped to the front door followed by the sound of a key in the lock. The door banged against the interior wall and heavy steps hurried down the hall.
    “What is going on here?” Walter Nelson bellowed. “The mailbox is smashed and there are tire tracks on the lawn. And tell me what the hell happened to Uggie ?"
    “Who’s Uggie ?” asked Mo.
    “The concrete bulldog,” Jessica Nelson said.
    “Oh.”
    Mr. Nelson glared first at Mo then at Ross. “Who are these people? Why are they in my house? I demand an explan —” Abruptly, he stopped and smiled, before pointing at Ross. “Aren’t you Stephen Dagger?”
    “Yes, he is,” Mrs. Nelson said before either Ross or Mo could offer an explanation. . “Let me introduce you properly.” Mrs. Nelson brought Ross forward with a smile on her face. “Stephen Dagger, meet my husband, Sharlene Lansing.”
     
    * * * * *
     
    An hour later, Ross still wondered whether they should have called the police. At first, the idea wasn't appealing because he knew the tabloids would be onto it before the report could even be filed. But now, he couldn't help but think he and Mo might have further trouble with that thug.
    Shortly after Mrs. Nelson's introduction of her husband, the couple had started to argue. Mo and Ross both made quick exits. They'd decided to call a truce and talk things over. So they'd gone to a downtown eatery for lunch.
    The waitress placed a cup of black coffee in front of Ross and a slice of apple pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream in front of Mo. As Ross took a sip from his cup, Mo examined her dish with greedy eyes.
    “Are you sure you don’t want a dessert?” Mo asked.
    “Yes, I’m sure. I’m not much of a dessert person. The only dish I can’t resist is a good cheeseburger.”
    " Oooh ," Mo exclaimed. "I just love a good cheeseburger with peanut butter and onions on top.”
    “ Uck ," Ross groaned. "Sounds disgusting."
    “No. Delicious. Try one sometime. They’re hard to find, but life won’t be the same once you’ve had a cheeseburger with peanut butter and onions.”
    "No thank you." Ross eyed the bruise along her jaw. The ice had prevented any swelling from the blow the thug had delivered. “Don’t you need to go to the hospital? You could have a concussion,” he said.
    “No, I’m fine.” She dipped the spoon into the desert, scooping out a hunk of the golden pie with a healthy portion of the ice cream. Mo brought the mixture to her lips and licked at it delicately before pushing the whole spoonful into her mouth.
    “Perhaps we should have called the police about our row with Gigantor ,” Ross said distractedly as he watched Mo enjoying her pie.
    Mo swallowed. “What would we tell them? We don’t know who the guy was. We don’t know what he wanted. We don’t know his license plate. Basically, we don’t have anything to tell the police.”
    Taking another bite, Mo emitted happy noises and ran her pink tongue over succulently full lips. She had removed her hair from its ponytail, letting the brown strands fall loose around her shoulders. She pushed the hair on one side behind her ear and out of the way of her next savory mouthful.
    “ Ummm ,” she said. “So good.”
    “We could report we were assaulted.” Ross watched as a thin line of ice cream slipped down her chin. He fought the urge to lick the creamy trail back to her lips. If he leaned across the table he could sample those few pie crumbs clinging to the corner of her mouth before her tongue slipped out to swipe them away. Before he could act on the impulse, Mo applied a napkin to do the job his tongue ached to do.
    “We could provide them his description.” Ross fiddled with the handle of his coffee cup, trying to ignore her lips, her hair...her.
    “The only likely result from a police report would be a newspaper story about how the famous Stephen Dagger got involved in a brawl. Unless your goal is publicity, I