Free Bible Stories for Adults by James Morrow

about?”
    â€œI’m talking about Saturn—Saturn for eight hundred million dollars.”
    â€œSaturn?”
    â€œI’m going to build on it,” Nimrod explained. “Once I nail down the Canaveral scheme, I’ll be jamming more tourists into space in a single day than Paris sees in a whole
year
.”
    At which point Michael felt obliged to step in. “Correct me if I’m wrong, God, Sir, but isn’t Saturn merely a ball of gas?”
    â€œI wouldn’t say ‘merely,’” He replied, a tad miffed, “but, yes, the terrain isn’t anything to get excited about. The idea behind Saturn was the rings.”
    â€œThen the deal’s off,” said Nimrod, slamming his open palm on the Steinway.
    â€œThe deal was never
on
, you son of a bitch,” said God, striding toward His picture window. The glass was swathed in thick acetate drapes the color of pistachio nuts. “I didn’t ask you here to make any
deals
.”
    Michael glanced furtively at Nimrod. The boss didn’t bat an eye. Damn, he was one nervy entrepreneur.
    â€œI understand you have some big plans,” said God, yanking a gold rope. The drapes parted on a spectacular view of Saint Patrick’s Day celebrants lining Madison Avenue, waiting for the parade to appear. “I hear there’s a Nimrod Gorge in the works.”
    The boss flashed Michael an angry, stabbing stare, a look to turn blood to ice, flesh to salt. “Certain people should learn to keep their mouths shuts,” Nimrod muttered.
    â€œYour secretary divulged nothing,” insisted the Almighty.
    Nimrod joined Him at the window. “You
bet
there’s a Nimrod Gorge in the works, God, and it’ll make the Grand Canyon look like a pothole. Listen, if You’re one of those environmental-impact fanatics, You should realize we’re using only conventional explosives for the excavation.”
    The brassy, blaring
forte
of a marching band wafted into the room.
    â€œThere’s also going to be a Nimrod Mountain,” said God.
    â€œRather like the Gorge,” said the boss, “but in the opposite direction.”
    The Almighty laid His palm against the window. The parade was in sight now, sinuating down Madison like a long green python.
    â€œI want you to drop all such plans,” He said.
    Bending over slightly, Nimrod scowled and bobbed his head toward God, as if he couldn’t quite believe his ears. “Huh? Drop them? What do you mean?”
    â€œYou can start by shutting down this vulgar and arrogant Tower.”
    â€œVulgar?” Nimrod echoed defensively. “
Vulgar?
”
    â€œPink marble and burnished bronze—who do you think you’re kidding? This place makes Las Vegas look like a monastery.”
    â€œGod, I’ll have You know we’ve got nothing but raves so far.
Raves.
The
Times
architecture critic positively
flipped
.”
    The Almighty removed His palm from the glass, leaving a mark suggesting a fortune-teller’s logo. “Have you checked the prices down there lately? Thirty-five dollars for a T-shirt from Linda Lee’s, three hundred and fifty for a salt-and-pepper set from Asprey’s, twenty-one thousand for a gold evening bag from Winston’s—really, Daniel, it’s
offensive
.”
    â€œMerchants charge what they can get,” Nimrod explained. “That’s how the system works.”
    â€œSo you refuse to close up shop?”
    â€œWhat’s the matter—don’t You believe in progress?”
    â€œNo,” said God. “I don’t.” He tapped the gift Bible in Nimrod’s hand. “The last time your species got out of line, I was moved to sow seeds of discord. I gave you all different languages.”
    â€œYes, and the whole arrangement’s been a complete pain in the ass, if You want my opinion,” said Nimrod, brandishing his Bible, “especially when it comes to dealing