Free Descending Surfacing by Catherine Chisnall

Of course I’m not the only one to experience that.
    I watched the screen but stopped listening. That day when I came home from school and found my mum crying, a crumpled note in her hand. My daddy had left, with no explanation, and we never saw him again. I felt like I’d stepped off a safe, solid cliff into a dark, unimaginable ocean and kept on floating.
    I had been the one to keep treading water while my mother and brother fell apart. Mum received so much support, Gareth hit out at everything, gaining help and understanding from everyone. Whereas ‘good old Emily’ just carried on regardless. Because ‘children soon forget’, you know. Apparently. That’s what I always did - carried on regardless. But I was tired. It had been a long time.
    I didn’t realise I was gripping the cushion so violently until it tore and the insides came out. I wouldn’t cry though. I would never cry for my daddy.
     

Wednesday 1st February
     
    I didn’t mention yesterday evening to Jamie when we got in the car the next morning. Let him sort himself out. He didn’t look like he’d had much sleep, but neither had I. We could talk after college. So I dropped him off at the usual place and he strode off purposefully.
    Peter seemed pleased to see me, and Group E was unusually quiet. I suddenly noticed Jamie was absent. Maybe gone to the toilet. Time lengthened and he still didn’t arrive. I felt a little relieved.
    However, by ten o’clock I was worried. Luke wasn’t in class to ask either. And I wasn’t going near Aaron, thank you very much.
    ‘ Seem to be a few missing today, Peter?’ I asked casually.
    He looked up in surprise. ‘Haven’t you heard?’
    ‘ Heard what?’ The fear coiled in my stomach. Had something awful happened?
    ‘ Jamie Norton has been excluded.’
    ‘ W- Why?’
    ‘ He attacked Luke Edwards yesterday. Completely unprovoked. It was vicious.’
    ‘ W-what?’ I sat down suddenly, not noticing Aaron watching me.
    ‘ Come and help me, Miss,’ he called.
    I went without thinking. I knew Jamie had been acting strangely last night, but…
    ‘ I can’t read this bit, Miss,’ said Aaron.
    Unthinkingly I read the boring passage about Personal Protective Equipment to him.
    ‘ I don’t think he needs you to do that, Emily,’ said Peter.
    ‘ N-no, of course not.’
    ‘ I’ll just be a second, I need to get the telly. John, Ryan, come and help, please.’ Peter swished out with them trailing after him.
    ‘ So, your boyfriend’s not here,’ hissed Aaron.
    ‘ You don’t need my help.’
    I stood up scornfully and went to the other side of the classroom, sitting down next to Gary, who was amenable and we got on with his work.
    ‘ Hey, Miss,’ said Aaron’s voice, close to me. I turned and found his groin thrust in my face.
    ‘ Ugh!’ said Gary, and moved away but I was trapped. I couldn’t lean back any further because Aaron was pushing his bulging trousers in my face.
    ‘ Suck it, bitch. Y ou know you want it,’ he jeered, pushing it closer as the others laughed.
    My face flamed and I felt sick.
    ‘ Peter’s coming, Az!’ said Dwayne.
    ‘ So am I!’ jeered Aaron, but he moved away, laughing.
    ‘ Settle down boys,’ said Peter, bringing in the television. ‘We’re going to watch a short film about building site accidents.’
    ‘ Are you alright, Emily?’ he added. ‘Gary, open that window, it's rather hot in here.’
    ‘ I’m fine.’ What should I do? Stay there and risk it happening again when Peter left the room? Or go out and let Aaron win?
    ‘ Actually, I need a breath of fresh air.’ I left the classroom in a hurry. I was leaving my job soon. I didn’t have to put up with that. I headed to the learning support office.
    ‘ Alright?’ asked Di, the learning mentor.
    ‘ Just needed a break.’
    ‘ Well, watch out. Leanne’s coming back from the meeting soon, so she’ll ask why you’re here.’
    ‘ I’ll go when she gets back. Thanks.’
    There were two other