Free Descending Surfacing by Catherine Chisnall Page B

must have threatened him to find out?’
    That shut him up. He wouldn’t meet my eyes but muttered something that sounded like an agreement.
    ‘ Are you scared of Aaron?’ They all were, I didn’t really need to ask.
    ‘ Nah! Fucking little- I could ‘ave him any day!’
    ‘ Alright, alright. I know the reason now.’
    ‘ It's all your fuckin’ fault anyway. Now I’m gonna fail my course!’
    He glared at me. Shit. Now it's all going to go wrong.
    ‘ I know,’ I said placatingly. ‘I’m really sorry. Do you want to leave? Go back home to your dad?’
    His face registered shock and something else. Was it- fear?
    ‘ No! I’ll stay here a bit. If it's alright.’
    ‘ It IS alright. I just had to know what happened with Luke. I’m sorry I’ve messed up your course.’
    He sighed. ‘I was crap at it anyway.’ Then he stalked to his room where I heard him muttering to himself and throwing things.
    I was sorry about his course, but half relieved I had saved myself from being hurt. The other half of me was…what? Sorry we hadn’t had a fight which ended up in bed? Conflicting emotions.
     

Thursday 2nd February
     
    ‘ What are you going to do today?’
    He shrugged.
    ‘ I know you’re angry but please, please don’t mess up my flat again. Go out running or something.’
    ‘ Running?’ he looked scornful.
    ‘ Or go somewhere else? To a mate’s house?’
    ‘ Could do. Gimme a key to your flat?’
    ‘ No, I don’t want to. Sorry, but if your mates get hold of it…’
    ‘ Fair enough. I’ll wait here for you.’
    It occurred to me that he was keeping a low profile after the attack on Luke.
    ‘ Okay. See you tonight, then.’
    He nodded and switched on the television.
    I was relieved to get to the call centre. Easy work with no emotional stress. I was thinking over Clive’s proposal of last week. Working at the call centre all week would get me away from the students and the thankless task of learning support. Well, it was thankless at that college. If only I could have stayed in London.
    At ten o’clock, my phone beeped.
    ‘ Fancy lunch at the Sesame Bar today? 12.00. Tess.’
    I replied positively. I could do with her advice, or her opinion, anyway. I was lost and it was getting harder to find my way out.
    ‘ Hey,’ she said, smiling as I went into the plant laden, bamboo tabled bar. Pretentious but comfortable - the bar not Tess, I meant.
    She was a dynamo: very small and round but with bags of energy. The great thing about her was that she had been a learning support assistant a few years ago, before taking up magazine writing. She understood a bit about the type of students I supported, but I had always known she was more dedicated and methodical about them than I was. She was always reliable and consistent and didn’t let them get to her. The only reason she had given up learning support was that she wanted to write, and in her usual determined way, had set about it with zeal until she got the job she wanted.
    ‘ So, you’ve got a seventeen year old boyfriend.’ She went straight to the point.
    ‘ Yes.’
    ‘ Why? I don’t need to tell you what hot water you could get into.’
    ‘ I know. I’m just- did Honey tell you the full story?’
    ‘ Not really. Go on. I’ll brace myself.’
    So I told her about the lift and what followed. Even about the sex, the gay club and Jamie beating up Luke.
    ‘ God Emily! What have you got yourself into? I can tell he’s trouble without even meeting him.’
    ‘ I know! Everyone’s told me that. I’m tired of being sensible and careful. I just wanted to do something mad and crazy for once in my life!’ My voice rose and other diners looked round.
    ‘ Isn’t there any other way you could find to do something crazy?’
    ‘ I don’t know.’ I looked down. ‘I don’t know how I feel anymore.’
    She paused for a long moment.
    ‘ I’m not sure what advice to give. I can’t imagine being in your shoes but the only thing I can think of is