Free AGThanksgiving_JCSmith by Jessica Coulter Smith

even long enough to come here. It was
his first time seeing the graves since that first week after the demon attack.
He’d thought emotions would choke him as he kneeled here, but all he felt was a
sense of peace.
    “Ah, Kiera. I’m in a mess,
love. My life has been a wreck without you. I’ve been so lost, so empty. But
then your cousin showed up on my doorstep.” He smiled. “You’d like her.”
    He reached out and traced the
letters of her name in the marble.
    “What am I supposed to do,
sweetheart? In my heart, I know you would want me to move on, to find love
again. There wasn’t a selfish bone in your body and I know you would want only
the best for me. But how do I give myself permission to love again? I feel like
I’m betraying your memory when I enjoy holding her hand or just spending time
with her.”
    He tipped his face up the sun,
letting it warm his skin as a cool fall breeze rustled what was left of the
leaves in a nearby tree.
    “If only I could see you one
more time, could talk to you. I need to hear your voice again, even if it’s
just for you to threaten to kick my ass. And I have no doubt you would if you
knew how I’d been living my life for the past four months. I know the pack
understood why I distanced myself, but I feel like I’ve brought shame on our
family with my behavior. I’m the alpha; I’m supposed to be stronger than
everyone else. I’m supposed to lead them no matter my losses.”
    He sighed and stared at her
name some more, as if it would conjure her spirit.
    “Just spending a week with
Autumn has made me feel better, made me feel almost whole again. Is it wrong
that I wonder if her body is as soft as it looks? If her pink lips would taste
like strawberries? Part of me yearns for her touch while the other half feels
guilty for thinking about another woman that way. I swore I would never forget
you, would never stop loving you. Is it possible to love more than one woman at
the same time?”
    The wind blew a handful of
dead leaves across her grave and he shoved them away.
    “I told her she didn’t have to
move out. God knows the mere thought of her leaving made me want to cry. You
were the only woman who ever made me feel weak like that.” He smiled. “Must run
in the family.”
    The thought of Autumn’s family
sobered him.
    “She’s in trouble, Kiera, and
I’m terrified I won’t be able to save her – just like I couldn’t save you. I
don’t know a lot about fairies, but the outcasts sound every bit as ruthless as
the demons. I don’t know if I can stand there and watch another woman die, a
woman I care about. I can’t lie to myself anymore. Whether I want to admit it
or not, I have feelings for her. I’d like to think you’d approve of me being
with her. If you could hand pick my next mate, I truly think you would choose
Autumn.
    “She’s sweet, sometimes shy,
and has a wicked sense of humor once you draw her out of her shell. And she’s
survived so much. All I want to do is wrap her up and hide her away so that
nothing can hurt her ever again. I’m not sure I even felt this protective of
you, as much as I hate to admit that. I guess I knew you could take care of
yourself.” He grimaced. “Or I thought you could. I should have listened to
Colin when he insisted that you train to fight. Maybe if I hadn’t been so
blind, so arrogant that things would go my way, maybe you’d still be here with
me. But then, if you were here, would I be helping Autumn now? Or would we have
even noticed she was here?”
    Gabriel took a deep breath.
“Autumn says that she believes everything happens for a reason. She said if she
hadn’t been abused by her mate, and if she hadn’t been fearful her alpha would
force her to mate someone not of her choosing, she never would have come to
Ashton Grove. What I saw as chance she saw as fate. Was she destined to come
here? Did the fates realize that she would need me? I’d like to kick their
asses for taking you away from me, but