Free Real Ultimate Power by Robert Hamburger Page B

happen anywhere ever. The pirate explodes so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had explodes and all of his grandparents explode along with his neighbors and even people who he merely said “Hello” to.

    Then there is a huge concert at the castle. All the babes in the castle morph into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch pork softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sits on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughs his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.
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    The End
    I don’t know about you, but after reading this script, I splashed all the water out of the tub.
    The Pirate Dance
    (Blood Brothers in the Japanese version)
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    S CENE 1:
    The scene opens up with some soft annoying music to get the audience super pissed. The camera shows a bunch of pirates eating chicken buttholes. But, fortunately, a ninja sees everything and realizes what a bunch of bullcrap it is. So this one ninja walks up to them and is like, “Yo, what’s your problem?” The camera zooms directly on a pirate’s mouth, which states, “Get out of here now,” and chicken buttholes fall all over the silverware. Then the camera cuts to the ninja’s mouth which says, “No,” but it looks cool. The audience then sees the ninja pull out a huge guitar and he starts to wail. But the pirates don’t explode, they start to dance ... hard. And when they dance, the pirates look like a bunch of crabby moms. Everybody in the entire world craps their pants laughing at the pure stupidity of the pirates. But the ninja has A.D.D. and starts losing energy/power and the pirates start stopping dancing. (There will be some suspense filled violins and guitars playing so that the audience gets scared and/or scared-pumped.) In several motions, the pirates come toward the ninja. BUT, out of nowhere, this badass lake appears and a huge hippo busts out of it hard. Water sprays everywhere, including the pirates’ shirts (which causes their boobs to just barely appear through the soft cloth). The pirates are like, “This can’t be happening!” And the hippo says, “Guess what? ... IT is,” and slaps five with the ninja pretty hard. Then the ninja says, “Let’s rock, brother.” And they both pull out expensive guitars and start wailing on them really, really hard. Since the ninja can’t concentrate, the hippo thoughtfully guides his hand, because they are blood brothers till the end of space and time. Then the pirates all morph into this giant diaper and the hippo and ninja morph into a super poop-filled baby that takes the biggest frigg’n dump in the pirate/diaper. The pirates’ scream turns into a crap-gargle (this will make audience laugh gregariously). The ninja’s A.D.D. heals and the two buddies/brothers smoke cigarettes and get ice cream and pop, which they enjoy a lot.
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    The End
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    I don’t know how anybody can tolerate pirates after reading this stuff.
    Little Tiny Hippo
    S CENE 1:
    There is this chubby, little tiny hippo who is hyperactive and has A.D.D., gappy teeth, and everybody thinks he’s crazy but he really isn’t. His name is Roberq and he doesn’t have any friends because he gets too pumped sometimes. One day Roberq is just hanging around a lake (like usual) making up stories and goofing around, not hurting any other hippos and stuff. Then some pirate starts beating his ass bad, which royally sucks. Roberq tries to run away, but can’t because the pirate calls a bunch of his buddies to help out. One pirate is in the shape of a dad; another pirate is in the shape of some friend who never wants to hang out ’cause you accidentally screwed up once; and the last pirate is in the shape of a stupid mom with three kids. Roberq’s only this little tiny hippo and everybody is completely beating his ass and he didn’t do anything.