Free The Fields by Kevin Maher

licence to do just about anything she wants for the rest of the day.
    Mam pours Dad a big glass of red wine, offers it to Sarah and Siobhan, who refuse, then gets us all to say the grace-before-meals. She does this by saying, Let’s say grace.
    And, even though it’s as tired as old boots, every day without fail one of us will say out loud the word ‘Grace’ as a joke. No one laughs, it’s not supposed to be dead funny, but it’s just what you do.
    This time I do it. I say, Grace! and Dad glares at me through his fingers. Mam leads the grace, which is a nice little prayer about blessing everyone around the table and blessing the food we’re about to eat and blessing, especially, the hands that made the food. When she says, ‘the hands that made the food’, someone usually points to her hands, or if say Claire has had a bigpart in making the meal, like peeling the spuds, she’ll point to her own hands as well. After that, the melon balls, saving your presence, hit the table and we’re off!
    Mam’s the first one in.
    She says, Well, how was Blinkers?
    Sarah and Siobhan can’t decide whether they’re in a love her or hate her mood so they just twiddle with bits of loose hair and mumble things like OK, ah, the usual.
    Fiona nudges me and says she’s sure that Dave Gallagher wouldn’t call what he got last night a bit of the usual.
    What’s that? snaps Sarah, glaring at Fiona.
    Who’s Dave Gallagher? asks Mam.
    Hello! sings Fiona, launching into a mock version of Lionel Richie’s hit song. She gets as far as the punchline, ‘Are you somewhere feeling Davy or is Davy feeling you?’ when Sarah cuts her short with loud sarcastic haw haw haws and everyone else has a giggle about ‘feeling’ except Dad who’s still got his head in his left hand while using the other one to scoop the melon balls into his mouth.
    Everyone notices this, but no one comments. Instead Claire tells Sarah that she should’ve seen Brenda Joyce’s bedroom, that it was massive and had a whole make-up table just for Girl’s World. Susan picks at her hairclips and starts to whine and Mam tells Claire not to be rubbing it in. Claire tells Mam to ‘leave off’ and then looks over at Sarah for a reaction. Claire is always trying to impress Sarah. It’s like she wants to be Sarah when she grows up and have all the fellas getting a good feel out of her in Blinkers. When you think of it, it’s like Claire wants to be Sarah, and so does Siobhan. Susan wants to be Claire. But no one wants to be me and Fiona.
    You obviously weren’t listening to young Fr O’Culigeen’s sermon then, Mam adds, looking at Claire.
    No response.
    Were you?
    Was it something about love? chances Claire.
    No, it was about honouring thy father and mother!
    Holy God, says Sarah, sneering. Here we go again.
    Oh, it’s well you may scoff, answers Mam, seeing as I can’t remember the last time you darkened the Parish doorstep.
    I told you, says Sarah, head down, looking at Mam through her long black fringe, I go to Saturday evening Mass.
    Psshhhhh, hisses Fiona.
    Sometimes, adds Sarah.
    Well, says Mam, young Fr O’Culigeen spoke eloquently and magnificently about juvenile crime and the savage breakdown of moral order, and how it stems from disregarding the Ten Commandments and especially not honouring thy father and mother!
    A bit of respect! says Dad, piping up for the first time.
    Glory be to the hokey, says Mam. And the dead arose and spoke to many!
    Dad fakes a smile and we all giggle with relief. He’s back! I’m so relieved I do a bit from Jesus of Nazareth, and say, Arise, Lazarus!
    Dad doesn’t think this is funny. He looks down at me and then says to the whole table, You know this one came in reeking of drink last night!
    There’s a moment of silence as everyone registers what Dad just said.
    I stand up and start to clear the melon-ball dishes. As I do I say, It was Cidona! I was with Saidhbh Donohue!
    Luckily, all the women around the table are far more