Free Sex on the Beach (Cosmo Red-Hot Reads from Harlequin) by Delphine Dryden

contradiction. “But there is always a secret option C, Jeremy. If there isn’t, it’s not a relationship. At least not one I can be in.”

Chapter Eight
    Sex on the Beach during a beautiful sunset made everything better. Amanda figured that out after her second one. Mai tais seemed to be having a similar effect on Julie, who was on her third drink and clearly tipsy.
    “I don’t get it,” her friend said, slurring only a small amount. “One—he groveled. Two—still in love with you. Three—awesome reunion sex.”
    Amanda nodded, willing to stretch the description to cover the recent incident. “Unbelievably awesome.”
    “Three—he—”
    It might be about time to cut Julie off. “Four.”
    “Four—he flew all the way to Hawaii to do this groveling.”
    “He did do that.” It was sort of groveling, at least. Not very debasing, but there had been apologies and pleading. “I’m not so sure it’s a point in his favor though. Don’t you think it’s maybe a little
too
much? I mean, he comes here and it makes a big impression, sure. But it’s a one-shot deal. I have no idea if he’s actually willing to change his plans in the long run. Or the way he
makes
plans, which is the more important thing.”
    “He cared enough to take a risk, at least. Financially, obviously, but it was an emotional risk, too.”
    “Yeah, as a big one-time gesture.” She realized that was the point she’d been trying to make to Jeremy earlier, and failing. “But what happens the next time we have a big decision to make? Or even a small decision, the day-to-day stuff? That’s the part that matters. I don’t want to marry somebody if I feel like it’s a power struggle every time we try to figure out what restaurant to eat at. That’s not a relationship, it’s a series of concessions. One person always taking away from the other person, instead of building something together.” Why hadn’t the words come this easily before?
    “You guys always eat at Tito’s...”
    Oh
,
sure
,
go throwing facts into the mix.
Wow
,
pasta sounds amazing right about now
,
how can I still be hungry?
“Yes, but it’s the principle of the thing. And I don’t think he’d eat there now, he’s turned anticarb.” The potatoes had been the catalyst for some confession about just how appallingly health-conscious Jeremy had gotten. The why of it all still escaped her. He’d never been a fitness junkie before.
    Julie sipped her drink but leveled a surprisingly sober look at her. “Is it possible that this—the way you’re worrying about it—is it possible that it isn’t really about Jeremy? I don’t mean I disagree with you, just—”
    Amanda knew only too well what she meant. “You think I’m projecting because of daddy issues.”
    “Okay, yeah. That.”
    That
. She wasn’t really sure how much Julie knew about her parents’ divorce, the animosity there. No real reason she should know much; a lot of people’s parents were divorced. Of course, Jules had been around when the shit went down, but she had been a happy, clueless eight-year-old. Amanda had counted on that happy cluelessness, the sense it gave her that there were still good families in the world, still happy homes where kids didn’t have to deal with the fallout of their parents’ crap. So she had never told, and Julie had never asked. But some things you just figured out from context.
    She wasn’t going to get into it now, though. It was more of a late-night non-vacation conversation, that one. She threw Julie a bone but kept the meat to herself. “I know Jeremy isn’t like my dad. Our situation is completely different than my parents’. But the parallels...I admit, it’s a trigger for me. There are all these—these extra emotions going on, clouding things up. I have no idea how I actually feel about him by himself, without all the added junk.” And she didn’t mention just how
much
added junk was involved, or how relevant the parallels truly were.
    Julie seemed