Free Feeling the Moment by P. J. Belden

while.”
    Rolling over, I snuggle into him more. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to think of nothing but River. He was really close. Maybe too close for comfort. It scared me how close he has gotten. All these years, I’ve built these thick walls up, no one has ever been able to get passed them. Yet, in such a short time, here River was, so far past the wall that I fear I may not be the same when he’s gone.
    “Please tell me I won’t regret this,” I mumble into his chest.
    His arms tighten around me, pulling me even further into his chest. As he talked, I could feel his voice vibrating through his chest against my forehead.
    “I don’t know what happened in your past, but I can tell you that hurting you has not even crossed my mind. Saying that though, I can’t tell you what is going on between us because it’s all new to me too.”
    Leaning my head back, I look up at him. The feelings that are fighting within me are causing me to be on edge. Some of these I’ve never felt, or received for that matter. Suddenly, I’m bombarded by them all with no rhyme or reason as to why I’m suddenly feeling them now. What made River so special?
    “I’ve been through hell, River. A few years ago, I promised myself that I’d never open myself up to another or give them my body. Now here I have done both, but worse than that…” I trailed off as I realized exactly how deep River has wormed his way into my life… my heart.
    “Look at me,” River whispered. When I looked back up at him, he pressed a tender kiss to my lips. “Let’s just live in these two weeks, taking each day as it comes. Okay? Forget about everything, but us on this island. What do you say?”
    Knowing I can forget about everything, but him. I’ve been doing it since I met him. I smiled at him. “Sounds great, better than that actually.”
    “Damn,” he breathed. “Your smile… Remind me to put that on your face as often as I can.”
    Laughing, I kissed him. “So what’s on the agenda today?”
    “Well, we are kind of on our own here. What would you like to do?”
    Lifting myself up on my elbows, “I know,” I grinned. “Can we go build sand castles and have a day at the beach?” I grinned bigger. “I always wanted that growing up.”
    “If it makes you smile like this, I’ll do anything.”
    Jumping out of bed so excited, I ran into the closet to check for my swimsuit. Coming out dressed in only that, I looked at River on the bed. My heart swelled in my chest.
    “I’ll go make breakfast while you get ready,” I say, practically skipping out of the room.
    We ate breakfast then headed out toward the docks. River was putting more and more weight on his leg with each passing day. I remember the doctor saying it was at his pace, but to not overdo it.
    We laid towels out on the dock, sat and dipped our feet into the water. Leaning into him, I rest my head on his shoulder. I loved being close to him. When he touched me, held me, was just plain near me, I’ve never felt more alive, more human.
    “So you know what I do for work? What do you do for work?”
    “I work at a company that designs and sells security packages.”
    “As in home security?” I asked looking up at him, but not removing my head from his shoulder.
    “That’s the big portion of it. There are different departments that handle different aspects of security; housing, business, personal, pets and so on.”
    “Oh wow, that’s awesome. What area do you work in?”
    “I, uh, actually own the company,” he says almost sounding nervous.
    “Wow, that must be so gratifying to know that you’re responsible for making people feel safer. Maybe I should have you come by my apartment and give me an estimate there.”
    He laughed. “I’ve been meaning to ask you why you got that apartment. That neighborhood was just named highest crime rate in the city. Have you considered moving?”
    “Why? I lived on the streets until I was able to purchase that