Free Notes from a Spinning Planet—Mexico by Melody Carlson

got my dad and brother to assist her in a lame sort of intervention thing that same night. Of course, I was totally furious about their interference, and I swore to them that I was
not
anorexic and that they should all get a life. But in my heart I knew something was wrong. I knew I was pushing the envelope. Maybe I hadn't become a real honest-to-goodness anorexic yet, but I knew that might be right around the corner. I was even a little scared.
    Just a couple of weeks before school was to start, my frustrated mom, in a desperate move, sent me off to spend a couple of weeks with Aunt Sid. Really, it was a smart move on her part. Sid was just what I needed. Oh, I doubt I ever admitted that to my mom. Maybe I will someday. And I barely discussed my little problem with Sid, although I'm sure she got me. As I recall, we ate out a lot, had pizza delivered, got popcorn with extra butter at the movies, and indulged in some pretty yummy flavors of ice cream late at night. But morethan balancing out my extreme eating habits, Sid helped me to feel good about who I was and how I looked and who ? was becoming. She's the one who got me to start writing in my journal. In fact, I think it was that summer I decided I wanted to be a writer like her. Anyway, by the time I went back home, I was pretty much back to normal. Perhaps a little thinner than at the beginning of summer but eating more like your average teen. It was like, “Adiós, anorexia.”
    So why, I ask myself, am I thinking about all this right now? I mean, I'm obviously not anorexic. And here I am on this gorgeous Mexican beach with a beautiful aquamarine ocean and a clear sky overhead. And yet I am still staring at my flabby thighs and totally hating my body.
This is not good.
    I'm tempted to go find Sid and confess my stupidity to her and beg her to straighten me out. But she's with Ian, and this is a special time for them—a time I will not mess with. I'm a big girl. Actually, a really BIG girl.
Okay, don't go there, Maddie. Just knock it off Grow up!
    I close my eyes and try to think happy thoughts. I think about transferring to the university and the classes I'm going to take. I focus on the fact that Lydia will be in Seattle too and how cool it will be to live with Sid. Really, life is good. Isn't it? Finally I'm beginning to relax. I feel myself drifting off to sleep with the sound of the waves and the surf swishing back and forth on the beach…back and forth.

ey, Maddie,” says a male voice. I open my
eyes
and look up to see a shirtless Ryan standing over me. His sandy hair is mussed up, and his blue eyes are sparkling.
    “Huh?” I sit up and blink, wondering if this is a dream.
    “It looks like you could be burning,” he tells me.
    I look down at myself, still in my swimsuit, and I do look a little pinker than yesterday. I feel something cool on my cheek and realize I must've been slobbering in my sleep. That's great.
    “Come on over here,” calls a girl's voice. I turn to see Shelby comfortably situated on one of the chaises. Only she's in the shade. And it looks like Ryan has been using the chaise beside her.
    “You were sound asleep,” says Ryan as he helps me move my chair closer to theirs so it's mostly in the shade. “I hated to wake you up.”
    “Was I snoring?” I ask, only partially kidding.
    He laughs. “Not that I noticed.”
    “You have to watch out for the sun here,” warns Shelby. “Too much is really bad for your skin.”
    I glance at her sleek and tan body, glistening with oil. “It looks like you've had a fair amount of sun yourself,” I point out.
    “Yes, but I tan regularly at home. And I've been here almost two weeks already. Its not good to try to get it all at once.”
    I nod as I drop my beach bag by my chaise. “Yeah, you're probably right.”
    “You've been here almost two weeks?” says Ryan.
    “Yep. My parents and I came on the fifteenth, right after finals week. We weren't supposed to go home until after New Year's,