Free A Debt Paid by Joslyn Black Page B

and his hand was cupping her
breast. Her mind was also going a mile a
minute. It had been such a long and lifechanging day. She was really mixed up on
how she felt about Calix. He blackmailed
her into marriage, he forcefully took her
virginity, and he had unconfirmed ties to
the mob. Those were the only cons she
could think of, but they were really big
cons. On the pros, he could be gentle with
her—tender even if he wanted to be—
when he did such intimate things for her.
He cleaned her after his onslaught this
morning, and, after dinner tonight, he was
tender with her while washing her,
massaging her, and brushing her hair.
Those things were more intimate than sex;
it showed that someone cared for the other
person and didn’t just want sexual
gratification from their body. It was more
than obvious that he wanted her again—
the proof was currently pressing into her
back—but he let her be, because he was
conscious of her body being sore. These
actions, or lack thereof, showed he wasn’t
totally selfish and that he cared about her.
    Anya was having a big struggle with
her conscience and her view of morality
and right and wrong. She knew that
everything he had done to get her to this
point was wrong, but it seemed like he was
trying to turn things around, to make it the
good relationship he said they could have.
She fiddled with her engagement ring; he’d
put a lot of thought into it. Would he have
done that if there weren’t some real
feelings involved? Then there was his
admission to think about. She couldn't
believe that he’d watched her, wanted her,
and waited years for her. She wasn't
putting herself down in any way. She knew
she was attractive, and she was smart,
responsible, and had a good job. But, men
of his stature and position with his
associations were usually looking for
someone who they could bed fast and then
walk away from even faster. They didn’t
want families, but Calix did.
    How was it that, even though this
situation was forced on her, every time
after this morning, she had enjoyed every
one of their amorous exploits? Shamefully,
she even wanted more. Even this morning
after the initial pain and shock wore off,
she’d tried not to feel the pleasure, but her
body had succumbed to him. He’d even said
she would hate herself for enjoying it, and,
at that moment, she had. But she didn’t
anymore. Anya knew that there had to be
some sort of a gray area for this situation,
so that she wouldn’t feel like she was
betraying herself, but she didn't know what
it was. She had told him off, called him a
bastard, ranted hysterically at him, and it
only turned him on. He didn't want some
pretty, little, young trophy wife to hang on
his arm to show off. No, he actually wanted
a partner, a real relationship and marriage,
and he saw in her everything that he
thought he needed and wanted in a wife.
Anya didn’t just want to be a wife, she
wanted to be a partner.
    She didn’t know if such a big wrong
could be turned into a right. She’d heard
the saying, ‘The ends justify the means’. Did
that apply here? She was too tired to
continue thinking about it. She was drained
physically and mentally. She heard the soft
steady sound of Calix’s breathing; he must
have fallen asleep. She decided she would
let it be for now and take it one day at a
time. She relaxed her body into his, closed
her eyes, and drifted to sleep.
    Anya woke up to Calix kissing her
neck and shoulder. She was lying on her
back, and he was leaning over her. His cock
was hard against her thigh as his hand
skimmed up and down her side. Noticing
that she had woken up, Calix kisses moved
up to her face, first her right cheek, then
left, then forehead, and then stopped to
nibble at her lips.
    “Morning, love, please, tell me
you’re not too sore from yesterday. I was
able to restrain myself last night, but I
really need to feel you.” His voice was
urgent, soft almost caressing her the