Free No Interest in Love by Cassie Mae Page A

her gaze to the road, keeping her eyes on our moving feet. “Since you’ve had sex.”
    “A while.”
    A small laugh parts her lips, but she doesn’t prod at my vagueness.
    “So was that a girlfriend or just a one-night thing?”
    What in the…“Is this your idea of small talk? You want to know about my sex life?”
    “I’m bored. And considering I’m about to majorly help you in that department, I’m curious why it’s so important to you, yes.”
    “It’s sex.”
    “Therefore, important?”
    “Yeah.” I give her a sideways glance. “Do I need a better reason?”
    She takes a deep breath, shivering a bit before blowing into her cupped hands. “I think there’s more to it, but whatever.”
    “Like what?”
    “I don’t know. Like someone broke your heart and you’re looking for a noncommitted fling so you don’t get hurt again.”
    Damn
. “You’re close.” I smile. “But that only counts in horseshoes.”
    “Where did I get it wrong?” she asks with an arrogant tilt of her eyebrow.
That’s damn adorable, too,
I think before I shake my head to get rid of the thought.
    Thing is…she’s mostly right. Someone got hurt, and it was my fault.
    I was working at a small theater as an understudy, and Penny Shaw was a girl who lived down the hall from me. I used to trick her into coming to the playhouse just in case I was the one performing that night, and after about the fifth invite, she showed up. I never did need to take over for the original cast, but despite not showing off my mad skills as an actor, I got laid anyway.
    Next night she came to my place. I didn’t really know much about her. Not where she worked or if she had siblings or whatever. I didn’t think I’d see her after we had our fun. Maybe in the hallways here and there.
    The “fling” lasted for about two months. Till that last night I spent with her. Right in the middle of sex, her eyes opened and locked with mine. I remember thinking,
She has green eyes.
Dark green. And in the two months of sleeping with her and the month of flirting before that, I’d never noticed what color her eyes were.
    My hips stopped. My release was long forgotten, and something crushed against my beating heart and pumping lungs. And I realized what a giant jackass I was. I had avoided holding hands, kissing her anywhere that wouldn’t lead to sex, or calling and talking on the phone for hours. Those were couple-like things. I didn’t want that. I wanted Barney Stinson’s life while I was still young and still had that going for me. I didn’t want her finding out about my family, my past, the other girls I’d been with. I didn’t want to share anything with her because that’s what comes with a relationship. The thought of it scared the shit out of me. It sounded ridiculous, but there was always this fear of rejection idling in the back of my head. What if she found out I was slow in the head? What if she started to pity me? And even though I’d never done the couple-like things, I realized right then, staring into her green eyes, that she saw
me
as way more than I saw her.
    Then she opened her kiss-swollen lips and said the three words I’d never heard from any of the girls I’d been with. The three words I never want to hear again. The three words that ended our relationship before it started…
    Because I didn’t love her back.
    And just like it did in the car earlier today, my life flashed before my eyes. So I pulled out, neither one of us getting the relief we went in for. I ran a sweaty hand over my face, muttering curses under my breath. The bed shook, and I knew she was crying. Damn it, she
cried
. She cried so hard I felt like I was drowning in it. She tugged the bedsheet out from under my ass and covered her chest, and I refused to look at her face. I refused because I was a dick and a coward.
    “You don’t have to say it back,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to…Please don’t freak out.”
    But I was freaking out. I don’t