Free Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute

Americanized to “Bay-er.”
    The original American patent for aspirin expired in 1917, and the “Aspirin” trademark was lost in 1921. Anyone who wanted to make and sell aspirin was now legally free to do so. By the 1930s there were more than a thousand brands of pure aspirin on the market; there were also hundreds of products (Anacin, for example) that combined aspirin with caffeine or other drugs. A bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet was as common in American households as salt and pepper were on the kitchen table.
    Ready for more? “Aspirin: the Miracle Drug” is on page 254 .
    Historical note: In 1763, an English clergyman named Edward Stone administered tea, water, and beer laced with powdered willow bark to more than fifty people suffering from fever. They all got better, proving that willow bark reduced fever, too.
     
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    According to scientific tests, the odors that most commonly turn women off are: barbecued meat, cherries, and men’s cologne.
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STRAIGHT FROM MICK’S LIPS
    Mick Jagger is like the Energizer Bunny—still going...and going... and going. He’s had over 30 years to come up with enough comments to make at least one interesting page of quotes.
    “People have this obsession: They want you to be like you were in 1969. They want you to, because otherwise their youth goes with you.”
    “I’d rather be dead than singing ‘Satisfaction’ when I’m forty-five.”
    “You get to the point where you have to change everything—change your looks, change your money, change your sex, change your women—because of the business.”
    “Of course we’re doing this for the money....We’ve always done it for the money.”
    “Sometimes an orgasm is better than being onstage. Sometimes being onstage is better than an orgasm.”
    “People ask me, ‘Why do you wear makeup? Why don’t you just come off the street?’ The whole idea is you don’t come off the street. You put on different clothes, you do your hair and you acquire this personality that has to go out and perform. When you get off the stage, that mask is dropped.”
    “Fame is like ice cream. It’s only bad if you eat too much.”
    “The best rock ‘n’ roll music encapsulates a certain high energy—an angriness—whether on record or onstage. That is, rock ‘n’ roll is only rock ‘n’ roll if it’s not safe.”
    “When I’m 33, I’ll quit. That’s the time when a man has to do something else. I can’t say what it will definitely be. It’s still in the back of my head—but it won’t be in show business. I don’t want to be a rock star all my life. I couldn’t bear to end up as an Elvis Presley and sing in Las Vegas with all those housewives and old ladies coming in with their handbags. It’s really sick.” (1972)

WORDS OF WISDOM
    More points to ponder while poised upon the pot.
    “The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.”
    —Andy Rooney
    “I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.”
    —Dick Gregory
    “If you have a job without aggravations, you don’t have a job.”
    —Malcolm Forbes
    “The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets.”
    —John D. Rockefeller
    “Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.”
    —Napoleon
    “The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.”
    —Alfred Hitchcock
    “My grandmother is over eighty and she still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.”
    —Henny Youngman
    “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
    —George Burns
    “Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.”
    —Socrates (470–399 B.C.)
    “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world