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doesn’t mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
    —Edward R. Murrow
    “Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.”
    —Mark Twain
    “Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.”
    —Plato
     
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    The Wright brothers built their first airplane for less than $1,000.
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STRANGE LAWSUITS
    These days, it seems that people will sue each other over practically anything. Here are a few real-life examples of unusual legal battles.
    T HE PLAINTIFF: Mortimer Hetsberger, a 22-year-old bank robber.
    THE DEFENDANT: Laura Gonzalez, a teller at the Fleet Bank in Atlantic City, New Jersey.
    THE LAWSUIT: In July 1998, Hetsberger handed Gonzalez a note at her teller window. It said: “I want the money now.” According to Gonzalez, he also told her “Now, or I’ll shoot.” She handed him $4,000. He was captured the same day. When he heard that Gonzalez had accused him of threatening her, he filed a $1.5 million lawsuit for slander, explaining that he’d never even spoken to her.
    VERDICT: No ruling yet.
    THE PLAINTIFF: A 25-year-old mortuary driver.
    THE DEFENDANT: A California Highway Patrol officer.
    THE LAWSUIT: The driver was stopped in Orange County and given a ticket for driving in a carpool lane with no passengers. He protested that he had four passengers—the frozen corpses he was transporting. He went to court to overturn the ticket.
    VERDICT: He had to pay the fine.
    THE PLAINTIFF: Kevin McGuinness.
    THE DEFENDANT: The University of New Mexico.
    THE LAWSUIT: When McGuinness flunked out of the University of New Mexico Medical School, he sued for reinstatement under the Americans with Disabilities Act. What’s his disability? He gets very anxious when he takes exams, and doesn’t do well on them.
    VERDICT: Unknown.
     
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    Medically speaking, the correct order of intelligence is: Moron, imbecile, idiot.
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    THE PLAINTIFF: David Earl Dempsey, a 27-year-old inmate at the Pima County, Arizona jail.
    THE DEFENDANT: Pima County and state prison officials.
    THE LAWSUIT: In February 1998, Dempsey tied a sheet around his neck and jumped out the jailhouse window, trying to commit suicide. The sheet broke, and he plummeted to the concrete below. He sued for negligence.
    VERDICT: Case dismissed. While waiting for the trial, Dempsey tried suicide again. This time he succeeded.
    THE PLAINTIFF: Carol Ann Bennett.
    THE DEFENDANT: Warren Woodrow Bennett, her husband.
    THE LAWSUIT: When Ms. Bennett moved out of their condo, she left her breast implants behind. She sued to get them back.
    THE VERDICT: Implants returned.
    THE PLAINTIFF: Sheila Tormino.
    THE DEFENDANT: Montclaire Bowl, in Edwardsville, Illinois.
    THE LAWSUIT: While she was bowling, Torino got a piece of popcorn caught in her shoe, and during her approach, she slipped and fell. She sued for $50,000, claiming the alley was negligent for not putting up warnings about popcorn on the floor.
    THE VERDICT: Unknown.
    THE PLAINTIFF: Eric Edmunds.
    THE DEFENDANT: Humana Hospital Bayside, in Virginia Beach.
    THE LAWSUIT: In 1987, Edmunds went into the hospital to get his stomach stapled, making it smaller. According to reports, “within 48 hours of the surgery, he snuck out of his room and raided the hospital refrigerator and ate so much he burst his staples.” Edmunds sued the hospital for $250,000 for “failure to keep its refrigerator locked.”
    VERDICT: Unknown.
     
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    A government study has determined that pigs can become alcoholics.
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I DREAM OF JEANNIE
    It wasn’t a huge hit in the 1960s, when it first aired...but 30-plus years later , I Dream of Jeannie is still airing in reruns all over the world. How did the beautiful female in harem pants wind up living, unmarried, with her “master” in suburbia? Here’s the story.
    H OW IT STARTED
    Before Sidney Sheldon was one of America’s bestselling schlock authors, he applied his talents to screenplays and