Free The Language Inside by Holly Thompson Page B

of the winter break
    for once I don’t waste my energy
    thinking I might not be here then
    I tell them
sure
    even though I don’t like winter
    and all the gear you have to wear
    and I’ve only ever been to Vermont
    in summer
    we’ll make skiers of you yet
says Gramps
    and Toby fist-pumps
    and when he kicks me
    I do a mini fist pump, too

     
    Gramps presents Toby and me
    with wooden boxes he made with hinged lids
    all decorated with carvings of ferns
    to hold your American treasures
Gram says
    they’re beautiful
I say, then joke
    but everything here is so big
    Gramps says
true
    but I’m sure you’ll find some small treasures
    mementos of your time here
    I tell him that later
    I’ll pick up a shell or pebble
    or something to remember
    this day in Newburyport
    for my first treasure

     
    then YiaYia and Gram and Gramps
    present my mother with the long necklace
    made of all different size and color beads
    each bead
    from a friend
    or relative
    all mailed in little packages to Gram
    strung together on a silk cord by YiaYia
    to give Mom strength
    and positive thoughts
    during surgery
    Mom is quiet and gives
    YiaYia, Gram and Gramps long hugs
    and the waitress goes teary
    when she learns the significance
    of the hugs
                   the beads on the table
                             and the illustrated key to each bead
                                that Gramps created

     
    finally the sting
    of all that Serey talk is dulled
    and I forget about Samnang
    and stop thinking about Shin
    and what Toby said to him
    and whether Madoka’s relatives
    feel abandoned by us
    because I know
    this is what I needed
    and Mom needed today—
    family

     

the day before the surgery
    Dad arrives
    Mom picks him up at Logan
    and they are both there
    waiting for me, then for Toby
    to get home from school
    and when we’re finally all together
    we do a big goofy group hug
    then Toby goes off to play soccer
    like it’s the most normal day of the year

     
    Mom and Dad and I
    go for a walk as the sun sets
    and Mom picks up leaves
    crimson, russet and gold
    and the cold settles down upon us
    as I update Dad
    on school
    Model UN
    and Zena
    skipping right over
    Samnang
    neither of them mentions dinner at Chris and Beth’s
    though Mom has probably filled him in
    and maybe mentioned to him
    something about Samnang
    about Samnang and me
    and what she might have thought
                   was
    but actually
                   is not

     
    Dad brought ingredients
    for
okonomiyaki
    so when we get back to the house
    he and I chop cabbage and scallions
    peel and devein shrimp
    mix the batter and cook
    the big pancakes in a skillet
    after we’ve started eating
    Mom shuts her eyes as she chews
    and tells us she could swear
    she was back in Japan
    but then a neighbor’s car alarm goes off
    she opens her eyes, says
guess not!
    Toby says
wait—close your eyes again
    and he whispers for us to make Japan sounds

     
    so we do—
    train crossing gates
    temple bells
    ambulances
    min-min
cicadas
    musical trash trucks
    motorcycle gangs
    whistling kites
    five-o’clock chimes
    train announcements
    lost-elderly announcements . . . 
    all in a crazy messy sequence
    that has us cracking up
    and YiaYia shaking her head
    until Toby decides to throw in
    some farts and burps and
    that’s the end of that

     
    after dinner we go out for ice cream cones
    because that’s what Mom wants—
    peppermint stick with chocolate sprinkles
    or
jimmies
as YiaYia and Dad call them
    but when we get home
    suddenly it’s not fun anymore
    it’s time for going over all the details
    of tomorrow
                   Mom’s bag for the hospital
                   the forms
                   the instructions for YiaYia

     
    I