Free Blue Coyote Motel by Dianne Harman Page A

Perhaps the others were stronger and braver than he was. Once again, Sam felt anger wash over him. Maybe he was more like Joe than he thought. Both of them were angry men. He was beginning to wonder if what some people said was true—that one's environment was stronger than one's biology.
    Hours later, asleep in the manufactured home that had been his mother's, he felt the hand of Strong Medicine on his shoulder. "My son, it is time to do your vision quest. The tribal fathers have expressed their great disappointment in you. You failed the sweat lodge. The only way to gain their respect is by completing a successful vision quest.
    "Most vision quests are done during adolescence, but you were busy with school and then college. The time has come for you to communicate with ‘your’ spirits. You will fast and pray for two days and one night, seeking relief from the anger you carry. You will also develop clarity for your future. I will help you. My time on this earth is nearing an end and there is much I need to teach you before you will be ready to replace me."
    This was the first time that Strong Medicine had expressed a desire to have Sam replace him as the tribe's medicine man. It saddened him to think that the one person he really cared about felt his time here on earth was nearing an end.
    Strong Medicine had been more of a father to him than Joe or anyone else in the tribe, even his mother's brothers. He truly seemed to care for the young man who had been so despondent and angry since his mother's death. He had always seen something in Sam that no one else had. It was he who had urged Sam to attend college and later to go to medical school and become a doctor. Sam owed everything to Strong Medicine and he made a vow that, no matter what, he would have a successful vision quest. He would not fail Strong Medicine again.
    Strong Medicine had told him to be ready to leave on his vision quest two hours before dawn. Sam would take no food or water with him and would dress only in a loincloth. He was to hike to the top of a nearby sacred mountain, which, for obvious reasons, was called "Rising Sun Mountain".
    Giving him last minute instructions, Strong Medicine began, "My son, your vision quest will not be like that of others who embark on a vision quest. Yours will be about proving to the elders that you can be trusted to be a member of the Tribal Council. The tribe needs smart people to help them with the many changes that have occurred since the casino came to our land. If you want to be a doctor and help the tribe, you need to have the respect of the tribe. You can have all the degrees in the world, but without tribal respect, nothing you say or do will matter."
    “I will not fail again and disgrace you. I promise you I will complete the vision quest and gain the respect of the Tribal Council. Thank you for believing in me.”
    Sam started up the trail leading to Rising Sun Mountain before dawn, intent on reaching the summit so he could see the sunrise from the top. He knew the next two days would test him as nothing else ever had. The difficulties he had experienced in being a resident in his last year faded by comparison. When he arrived at the top of the mountain he sat down and waited for dawn to break. The sky began to change from dark blue to turquoise to pink to a fiery red as the sun slowly came into view. It was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Just then an eagle flew across the sky, an omen. No matter what happened in the next two days, he knew he would never forget the sunrise on the first day of his vision quest.
    He found a spot where he could sit comfortably and spent the rest of the day chanting, as Strong Medicine had instructed him to do. The sun beat down on him and it became intolerably hot. He could feel the sweat droplets on his brow dripping into his eyes. His whole body began to glisten with sweat. Sam became painfully aware of the hard earth under his buttocks. He continued to chant until