Free A Proper Young Lady by Lianne Simon

understand them.
    The doctor rises from her seat and closes the door. “I first met your mother—and Melanie’s—when they were in grade school and I was a resident at Childrens Hospital. I consider them both good friends.” 
    Weariness shadows her features as she resumes her seat. “Laura insists this surrogacy will be good for her daughter. I still have serious reservations.”
    “Melanie will have permanent visitation rights.”
    “Yes, but that may mean she never lets go of the child.”
    Why should she have to? “I’ll speak with her about it, but no promises.” 
    Dr. Pierson’s gentle frown emphasizes her concern. “All right.”
    After a moment, she leafs through the papers on her desk. “How long have you known Ethan?”
    “About a year.”
    “Has he been taking steroids?”
    “I don’t think so. Why?”
    “There are no viable sperm in his semen, and nothing in his medical history to indicate why.”
    My heart breaks for Ethan. How many times have I heard of someone melting down after they discover they’re intersex? Ethan’s not, of course; I’m certain of that. But even temporary infertility hits people hard. “I need to call him.”
    Dr. Pierson nods, so I step into the hallway and pull out my cell. I bring up my fiancé’s number, but hesitate before connecting. This isn’t something you tell a person over the phone.  
    A joyful eagerness flows from Ethan’s voice whenever he speaks of us having children. His children. Will he accept a baby that’s not his? I drop my phone into my purse and wander down the hallway to the waiting area. 
    Melanie sits in a chair, studying the same magazine as before. When she looks up, her eyes meet mine. A tender smile follows.
    Canceling the surrogacy would crush her. I’d rather lose Ethan than hurt you again. I turn around and walk back toward Dr. Pierson’s office. 
    Ethan insists that my intersex doesn’t matter to him. He might well accept my fathering a child. Especially if Melanie’s already pregnant.
    Yet something desperate whispers a warning—a woman fathering a child—the very idea goes against nature. 
    Why haven’t I the same right to parenthood as anyone else? Simply because my body doesn’t fit our culture’s binary idea of sex? My desire for a child—a child with Melanie—swells, pushing away any lingering uncertainty. The risk no longer matters. 
    Ethan will have to know.
    Heart pounding, I make my way back to Dr. Pierson’s office and take my seat again. “Let’s proceed with the surrogacy using my—my gonadal biopsies.” So much for the proper young lady bit. “I’d like to wait for the appropriate time to tell Ethan and Melanie—not that I’m sure when that will be.” 
    Fear and the hint of remorse drift through my conscience. How will I ever tell them?  
    “Very well. I’m obligated to notify Ethan of his azoospermia, but the contract makes paternity entirely your decision. I would remind you that AIS is X-linked recessive.”
    Yes. If we have a female child, she’ll get my affected X chromosome, making her a carrier for PAIS. “We’ll love our baby regardless. What’s next?”
    “Surgery on Monday as planned. We’ll take biopsies and see what we find.”
    Someone knocks on the door. Melanie pokes her head into the office. “The nurse said to come here.” She takes her usual seat.
    Dr. Pierson brings up a series of ultrasound images on her monitor. When she turns our way again, a grandmother’s kindness shines from her face. “Everything looks fine. Drop by tomorrow evening for your trigger shot.”
    With a squeal, Melanie jumps up out of her chair.
    Yes. Worth every last penny.
    Finished for the day, Melanie and I burst outside. Melanie grabs my hand and rushes toward the station. A moment after we board the train, an afternoon shower breaks over us.
    Melanie grins at me as though rain brings true happiness. “We should celebrate.”
    “What do you have in mind?”
    “I haven’t been to