Free Redemption (Book 4, The Redemption Series) by S.J. West Page A

try to listen to what she says but my thoughts are consumed with worry and guilt. I feel like Lucas and Millie's kidnapping is completely my fault. Rationally, I know I had no control over what happened. Yet, if I hadn't killed Belphagor, would Baal and Mammon have taken such drastic measures? From what Helena told me, it was only my betrayal of Belphagor that propelled them to abduct my loved ones. They felt like they needed the extra insurance to help safeguard their own survival.
    By the time Malcolm and Brutus are through talking, I feel an urgent need to leave Alto. Our friends are about to celebrate one of the happiest times in their lives. I don't want to put a damper on their wedding. Even though I know each of them would understand my feelings, I still don't want to ruin what is supposed to be a joyous occasion for them both.
    Brutus immediately takes me into his arms when he and Malcolm return to us.
    “Don't you worry,” he whispers to me. “We'll make this right.”
    I was already on the verge of crying and Brutus' sweet words of reassurance almost push me past my self-control.
    I find the strength to nod my head to let him know I heard his words of encouragement. If I try to make a verbal response, I know I'll end up crying, and that's the last thing I want to do in front of Kyna and Bianca.
    Brutus pulls away from me and says, “I'll keep my eyes and ears open here. If I find out anything, I'll let you know.”
    “Thanks.” I'm able to say while still maintaining my composure.
    “We'll see you all tomorrow at the wedding,” Malcolm tells them as he takes hold of one of my hands. “Let us know if you need anything.”
    Malcolm phases us out of Alto, but he doesn't take us directly back home. Instead, he takes us to the little ramshackle cottage by the ocean. We haven't returned here since our horse race and subsequent afternoon together.
    “I didn't think you wanted to go home just yet,” he says, bringing me into his arms.
    I let the wall I built to hold in my anger and anguish crumble as Malcolm holds me. I cry and beat at his chest, letting out my agony and frustration. Finally, when I'm spent of energy, I simply lean against my husband and weep.
    Malcolm is silent through it all and simply lets me act out my emotions. It's exactly what I need him to do for me, and he seems to know that. I don't want him to tell me everything will be all right because the simple fact of the matter is we don't know that. Nothing is certain except that Lucas and Millie are in danger. I can't seem to get rid of the bad feeling I have in the pit of my stomach that things will not work out for the better this time. Something bad is going to happen, and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to survive it.
    “What can I do for you?” Malcolm asks me, holding me close.
    I shake my head. “Just help me get them back.”
    “You know I will, Anna. We'll do whatever it takes. Please don't think that you have to go through this all alone. We need each other now more than ever.”
    A part of my heart wants to accept what Malcolm just said, but something inside it holds me back from believing it fully. A voice from out of the darkness whispers that Malcolm will never forgive me if our son is harmed because of something I did. It laughs at the thought of me begging for his forgiveness and being turned away by him because he can't stand to look at me. It also knows that I would never be able to forgive myself if an innocent life was lost because I was unable to control my temper. I allowed the darkness to take control of me for a while and enjoyed what I did to Belphagor. The darkness knows now that it simply has to wait patiently. I'll let my guard down again one day, and it will be there to take advantage of my weakness. It isn’t through with me yet.
    “Come on,” Malcolm says, kissing me on the forehead. “Let's see if Jered and Desmond were able to find anything out.”
    “You know as well as I do that they didn't find