Free Holding On (Hooking Up) by Jessica L. Degarmo Page A

through some basic flexibility and strengthening exercises, most of which he was already familiar with from his other sports- and daredevil-related activities, and his session went smoothly.
    I did an initial evaluation of Parker Crampton, a new patient whose legs had been broken in a car accident eight weeks prior, and adjusted the padding and fit of the new prosthesis for little Ashley Thompson, a girl whose 3 rd degree burn had necessitated the amputation of her right arm. I bantered and joked with my little patients, but my mind was only half on the tasks at hand. I was preoccupied, to say the least, and longed to be with my mother.
    I felt like we had to make up for lost time, and wanted to spend every waking minute with her. I loved the way she put her arm around me and squeezed me when I arrived at her house to visit, the way she laughed at my really bad jokes and praised me constantly. I loved how she’d begun cooking for me, sharing with me all the old family recipes she’d collected over the years. I relished those first tastes of home.
    If Ryan felt slighted in any way by my absence from our apartment, he said nothing, silently giving me the room I needed to pursue a relationship with my newfound family.
    Benjie, however, sulked a little. It seemed as though he took my statement that I’d never leave him to mean I’d never be away from home. Ever. He started whining whenever I left to go spend time with my mom and it ripped my heart to pieces. I would never choose between them, or abandon Benjie the way his own mother was quick to do, but he didn’t know that.
    So to spend time with both of them while Ryan was at work, I took Benjie and my mother to the zoo.
    Benjie loved it. He raced around and mimicked the sounds the animals made. He laughed at the yawning hippos and roared like the lions who stalked back and forth in their habitats. He hollered at the goats that bleated at him in the petting zoo and demanded three hot dogs (at four bucks apiece) at the concession stand, then only ate one.
    He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dolphin tank, watching in awe as they swam in lightning-fast laps in front of him. He giggled with my mom over the funny faces the monkeys made and tugged her in the direction of the gift shop, insisting he just had to have a stuffed turtle, like the big tortoise that had smiled at him from his mound of dirt. He ran us ragged in the hot, mid-summer sun.
    Benjie bellowed that he wanted to see the snake house, so we hooked right and made for the snakes. I had been talking to Mom about what she wanted to do after the zoo, but she didn’t answer. I looked back at her and was surprised to see that she had fallen behind and her face was oddly flushed and fatigued. Benjie backtracked and made circles around her. She smiled feebly but faltered and almost fell over.
    “Mom!” I exclaimed, rushing to her side and catching her. I boosted her upright and walked her over to the benches in front of the snake building.
    “Are you ok?” I asked, running my hand up and down her back.
    “I’m fine. It’s just the heat,” she insisted. “It’s very warm out today, isn’t it?”
    “Yeah, pretty warm. Do you want to leave?”
    “No, I’ll be fine. Just give me a minute, would you?” Now that the flush had fled her face, it appeared waxy, almost white. I was worried.
    “Grammy, what’s the matter?” Benjie’s little face was scrunched up in worry.
    “Nothing, sweetie. I’m just hot. Here, I feel fine now. Let’s go.” She rose and held her hand out to Benjie. “Come here, handsome. Snakes scare me. I need you to protect me.”
    Benjie giggled and said, “Ok. Come on, Grammy. I’ll save you.”
    We oohed and aahed over the boa constrictors, the rattlesnake whose rattle we heard even through the thick glass walls of its cage and recoiled in terror as the cobra showed us his hood and charged at us from behind the glass. But to my anxious eyes, Mom still looked ill, so I cut our day