turning,
fell to her knees and threw up in the sand. I stood over her feeling helpless
and uncertain before kneeling next to her and holding her hair back. This was bad, whatever this is , it was
really bad . What the hell had I said that could make her have this kind
of reaction? She might think it was too soon, but for me, if we were going to
move forward in anyway, we were going to have to deal with this shit.
After she was through being sick, I picked her
up and headed for the restrooms her state of undress forgotten for now. I made
sure no one was in the lady’s room before pushing the door in with my foot and
taking her inside. She’d gone limp and quiet in my arms and my gut was doing that
sick churning thing again. That was something else that was coming to an end
today, I couldn’t take much more of that feeling. There was definitely
something going on with her and before my thoughts drove me insane she was
going to tell me or I’ll set Josh on her ass. That fucker would know who her
kindergarten teacher was by the time he was through digging.
I
cleaned her up and wiped her face before lifting her and taking her back
outside into the fresh air. She hadn’t said a word the whole time I was tending
to her, just laid limply against me. As if all the life had gone out of her.
“What was that about Kadyn? And no more of your fucked up
excuses. First you froze up on me that day in town and now this. Start
talking and if I don’t like the answers I promise I will go to your father.” I
probably shouldn’t be threatening her so soon after she’d been sick but what
the fuck! This shit had danger written all over it.
I
sat on one of the benches on the boardwalk with her seated safely on my lap. My
head was already coming up with its own conclusions but I wanted her to tell me
that I was wrong, that what I was thinking was foolishness. She didn’t answer
me and I squeezed her gently to get her attention. I wasn’t playing, if she
didn’t tell me what I wanted to know I would go straight to her father and ask.
With my mind made up about us I truly believe I now have every right, whether
she accepts it or not. She was here, that had to mean something. Obviously
that’s what Carrie had been up to last night, but she had to know I would be
here and she wasn’t wearing that fucking suit for Joshua or Andrew, she better
fucking not have been.
She
turned her face into my neck and breathed in deep. Her body was still tense but
at least she wasn’t fighting to get away. “I can’t talk about it Matt, I just
can’t, not yet please. And I’d appreciate it if you waited for me to tell you
myself. I don’t want my dad to worry.” Her voice had gone soft and pleading.
I took a
deep breath and prayed for patience. I can’t force her if the shit was going to
make her this ill but soon, one way or another I was going to have my answers.
“I’ll give you some time to get comfortable
with me, that means we’ll be spending a lot more time together from now on. By
then maybe you’ll feel safe enough to tell me. But tell me this one thing and
I’ll leave it alone for now. Did someone hurt you?” I gritted my teeth as I
awaited her answer, please tell me no. It felt like forever before she finally
answered me.
“Not
in the way you mean no, but…” her body shook hard enough to rattle her teeth
and my gut tightened. “It’s okay, leave it for now.” I soothed her, running my
hand over her hair and shushing her. “Look at me.” I turned her face myself and
looked down at her, studying her.
Last night in the moonlight I hadn’t noticed
the specks of light in her eyes, or the different shades of grey, from slate to
almost silver. “You’re fucking gorgeous Kadyn damn.” I hadn’t meant to say that
dammit. She was falling apart in my arms and I was fighting my body’s reaction.
I hadn’t lost my hard all throughout this whole ordeal. I don’t know what that
says about me, or