more to the point the hold she had on me.
“Matt,
I’m not who you think I am, I have…there are some things about me that you may
not like.” She hid her face once more and I let her. What did she mean by that
cryptic remark, and did it even matter?
“Are you
a criminal or something, are you running from the law?” Funny, I could care
less if the other one got the needle but her I was willing to hide if it came
to that. I am truly and totally fucked.
“No of
course not but…let me just think about it first okay, I have to decide if this
is something that I want, you’re moving so fast…”
“Don’t
worry about that it’s a Steele thing, as to you needing time to think I already
told you when it comes to us your time has run out. You’ve found your future
and I’ve found mine. Just a few short hours ago I wasn’t sure, I too had
questions. But I do know you’re the last thing I see before I close my eyes at
night and the first thing I see each morning when I awake. I don’t see that
changing anytime soon if ever so that’s pretty much a done deal. But I’ll give
you time to tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you. So take the time you
need, not too much though. Somehow I don’t think I’ll have too much patience
where you’re concerned, not with something like this, something that obviously
caused you great pain.”
“You
feel that?” I pressed her ass down on my hardness that still had yet to go
down, it seemed nothing would make the shit go away short of getting inside
her. The truth is, nothing had ever kept me this excited for this long except
maybe tinkering with my cars. That’s another sign that I’d been about to make
the biggest mistake of my life with the other one. She never had me tied up in
knots the way Kadyn did; never made me feel like I was losing my damn mind.
Huh, thinking of her didn’t bring with it that
feeling of lost. I didn’t feel that ripping hopelessness that had been tearing
at my gut for so long and I had no doubt it was thanks to the girl in my arms.
Whatever her problem was we’d deal with it so I could get on with the business
of claiming her. I hope I have the patience to wait for her to come around on
her own and not go home and fire up Josh’s comp and find shit out for myself.
Shit, dad had said be a Steele, I guess we were all about to see just how much
of one I was because this shit was wild. No wonder Joshua had lost his damn
mind.
Chapter 12
We
walked back down the beach to the blankets and sat watching while the others
frolicked in the water. I kept her hand in mine more so because I couldn’t bear
to release it just yet than because she still needed my support. She seemed to
be relaxing a little bit more, though I could still sense some tension in her.
“Whatever it is, whatever secrets you’re keeping Kadyn won’t change the outcome
of us. I don’t know how I know that I just do. I too have some things in my
past that aren’t pretty; I’m only now learning to let them go. Our past cannot
control us unless we let it.”
“But
Matthew we don’t even know each other, who’s to say that you will want to deal
with my baggage? How can you know unless you’ve heard what it is? This all
seems too crazy for me. You have to understand before I came here, I’d made up
my mind that I wouldn’t have that sort of life that it just isn’t in the works
for me. I’d made peace with it, I can’t go through another heartbreak…”
“Somebody
broke your heart? Who?” I didn’t like the sounds of that, that maybe she’d once
been in love so deeply that she had given up on life when that love failed. And
that’s just fucked Matt, you were in a relationship too remember? Somehow that
didn’t placate me one bit and I found myself biting back the anger.
“No
it’s nothing like that; you promised to give me time remember?” I ran my finger
down her cheek as she held her face up to me. Why was it I wonder that at this
moment I