Free Long Blue Line: Based on a True Story by E. McNew Page B

already seemed annoyed.
    After scanning for about two minutes, we were given the news - sort of. “I am not 100 percent positive because the legs are crossed… but if I had to bet on it, I would say it’s a girl.” Josh and I looked at each other and smiled. I was worried that he would feel let down if his dream of having a son was shot down, but the look on his face told me that he was already completely in love with this little girl. I was excited to confirm the vision I had earlier in the year of a beautiful baby girl. I had known it from the very beginning.
    Pulling into my driveway, I noticed a few strange cars. I had no idea who would be at our home. It wasn’t until I walked in and noticed a stack of bibles on our table that I knew what was going on. My mother had recently started attending a church down the street. She went to Bible Study on a regular basis, and she had confided in the pastor about my situation. That night the Bible Study was being held at our home.
    I was introduced to the pastor, along with a handful of other middle-aged locals. They were all very nice. I really liked the pastor - Pastor Gene. He was an older man and maybe in his late 60’s. He had a slight resemblance to Santa Clause. His personality fit the character well. Something about this pastor made me feel safe. I felt like I was speaking to a very positive and clean force, almost one of an angel. “I was speaking with your mother, and I wanted to ask you if I could host the baby shower at my home. There is plenty of room and I would really love to help you get things set up,” he said. I was surprised that a person who must be so morally and spiritually intact would want to help me. “That would be awesome! I was worried about how many people would show up, and I just wasn’t sure how to go about it all,” I said, trying to contain my relief. It would be easier to accept a baby shower if it were held by a third party. It wouldn’t make me look so stupid and desperate if another person was hosting it for me.
    Two weeks before the baby shower I was 8-1/2 months along. My mom handed me a stack of invitations to send out. I had not thought about whom I would invite and was afraid that it would turn into proof that nobody cared when nobody showed up. After battling with my self-esteem taking a plunge and my hormonal brain being extremely emotional and indecisive, I decided to follow through. I sent out an invitation to every person I could think of. I made some phone calls to get missing mailing addresses then sealed and stacked the envelopes. I was expecting the worst but truly hoping for the best.
    The next week I had trouble focusing at school, and I became somewhat overwhelmed. Between being extremely pregnant and having to show the reality of this fact by attending my baby shower, I was not getting much sleep. I would stay awake until two in the morning reading the novels I had once obsessed over - hoping to distract my busy mind from my fears and worries. After sleeping for only 4 hours, I would wake up again at 6:00 in the morning to waddle down the stairs to the kitchen. I found a particular cereal to be extremely pleasurable. I would drench it with honey and waddle back up to my bed. My insomnia was normal for third trimester fatties to deal with. It was nature’s way of preparing for the soon-to-come sleepless nights of caring for a newborn.

  Chapter 9
    “What the hell, Merri!” I angrily screamed. I was so mad that I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. The warm, and clearly fresh, dog shit must have been waiting specifically for me. It was in the perfect place, at just the right time.
    “What’s wrong Elizabeth?” my mother asked with a concerned tone. “Merri needs to clean her dog’s shit off the floor! I just stepped in it and it’s stuck between my toes!!” I hysterically announced. This time, waddling with a limp, I rushed to the bathroom and awkwardly lifted my leg to get my foul smelling foot in the