Free Long Blue Line: Based on a True Story by E. McNew

dropped and I almost burst out laughing. That was very out of character for Josh to say. My mom was so mad that her lips tightened, and the look that I usually ran away from was there instantly. “That’s it. I’m calling the cops,” she stated. She followed through with her threat and called the police. On one hand I couldn’t blame her, but on the other hand, I was extremely afraid and unsure if this was the right thing to do. I tucked my drunken boyfriend into bed. He made a horrible attempt at taking off his pants to sleep in his boxers. His boxers came off with the pants. I hurriedly tried to get his pants back on so the poor cops wouldn’t have to deal with a naked drunk, but I failed. He was nothing but dead weight. This is where my sympathy for Josh ended. He was about to embarrass us, including my family. Accepting our fate, I gave up and walked out of the room.
    The police sobered Josh up enough to get him in cuffs and escorted him down the stairs and into the patrol vehicle. Josh went to jail for vandalism.
    That night I felt very lonely and let down. I felt betrayed by Josh, and I felt as if my mother simply didn’t understand. I didn’t know why Josh felt it was necessary to ruin Thanksgiving, and I didn’t know why it was necessary for him to be arrested when I depended on him so much. The only thing I could do for comfort was to write in my Journal.
     
     

Dear Josh,
    I have never felt so empty and sad. Right now I am lying in my cold, lonely bed and you are lying on concrete in a jail cell. I don’t know why things had to turn out so bad tonight. It was supposed to be Thanksgiving. Out of all days, why would you ruin a holiday? I’m at a loss and don’t know what to do. The drinking has to stop. I can’t allow this to continue. We have a baby on the way and that is no environment for a child to ever be in. I don’t want to break up, but I think you need to stay at your mom’s for a while. I know that you are probably just as nervous as I am about having a baby, but there is no excuse to binge-drink every day! You’re not the same person when you drink. You break my heart every time you stumble in the door drunk. Either way, I still love you and I always will. I can’t imagine having to do this without you, but I am going to have no choice if you can’t get sober. Please, just do it for me? And if not me, then get sober for your baby.
    Love always,
    Hoping to be your future wife.
     
    I did not intend on giving Josh this letter. I just had to release my pain. I was unsure of what the future would bring. I was unsure if he could truly handle the responsibility that would soon be bestowed on him. Finally at around 3 a.m., I fell asleep. I fell asleep sad that Josh was probably sleeping on a cold concrete floor. I fell asleep sad that our semi-stable circumstances had just been slammed down over a dark and cruel bottle of whiskey.

Chapter 8
    The storm from Thanksgiving died down and life returned to a somewhat stable routine. Josh learned a lesson ˗ for a while anyway. He still drank, but not as much as he had been drinking.
    My pregnant belly was changing as fast as the seasons were changing. Christmas morning arrived and deep down I knew that it would be my last Christmas as a child. This would probably be my last Christmas living with my mother and sister. This would be the last time that I would be woken up at 4am by my twin sister to sneak down the stairs to retrieve the beautiful stockings that our mother had always carefully and thoughtfully put together. Every year, she would spend so much time finding us gifts that were perfect for who we were. The gifts, from books to chocolate and diaries, were always wrapped and tied with an artistic touch that only a perfectionist could master. They were beautiful. The most beautiful part was the love and energy that she had put into them.
    After excitedly (but also somewhat sadly) going through my gifts on my unmade bed, I stuffed four truffles