Free Vicious by Sara Shepard

should be made—the details had passed over her like quickly moving clouds. She kept thinking she’d wake up and it would all be a dream. Emily couldn’t have really walked into that water. Emily couldn’t have killed herself because she couldn’t bear the idea of going to prison. How had Hanna not realized Emily was in that much pain?
    The thing was, though, Hanna had known. How long had Em gone without a good night’s rest? How much weight had she lost? Why, oh, why hadn’t Hanna tried to help her? She should have read a book on suicide or something. Talked to Em more. Stayed up with her that last night if she couldn’t sleep.
    And what had it felt like to be so at the end of her rope? Sure, Hanna felt panicked about going to jail . . . but not suicidal. Why had it hit Emily so differently? Why had this affected her, someone so good, so sweet, so gentle?
    How could Em be . . . gone ?
    Ms. Marin took Hanna’s arm and walked her into the church. The place was packed, and everyone stared at her as she walked down the aisle. There were so many people here that Hanna knew, but how many of them were here because they missed Emily? Like Mason Byers—hadn’t he laughed nastily after A had outed Emily at that swim meet? And there was Klaudia Huusko, the exchange student from Finland—had she ever spoken to Emily? And there was Ben, Emily’s old boyfriend—he’d attacked her! Like he was really grieving? Even Isaac, the father of Emily’s baby, was here, though he looked almost bored. The only person who looked legitimately upset was Maya St. Germain, Emily’s first girlfriend and the girl whose family had bought Ali’s old house. Maya’s hands covered her eyes, and her shoulders shook. Mr. and Mrs. St. Germain and Maya’s brother flanked her, their faces stony, their eyes glazed. Hanna wondered briefly if the family regretted ever moving to Rosewood.
    Aria and Spencer were already sitting in a pew near the front. Ms. Marin guided Hanna toward them, and Hanna slid in next to Spencer. Both her old friends glanced at her emptily. Aria’s hands rested limply in her lap. Spencer had a packet of tissues wadded tightly in her palm. Her eye makeup was already streaky, but Spencer didn’t seem to care. Aria nodded slightly. “I think they’ve given up.”
    Hanna swallowed hard. “It’s only been one day!”
    â€œThere were tons of helicopters, looking everywhere,” Spencer said in a monotone. “She probably drifted farther than anyone thought. Or she’s caught on something underwater, and they can’t see her.”
    â€œOkay, stop ,” Aria said, her voice cracking. Her eyes were filled with tears.
    Dirge-like organ music started up, and Hanna swiveled around to watch a group of clergymen process down the aisle. Emily’s family followed. Each of them was dressed in black, and every single one looked zombielike.
    Her gaze turned to the casket behind the altar. Even though there was no body, the Fields had decided to bury something at the cemetery anyway. It seemed almost inappropriate that the Fields had arranged a funeral so quickly—Emily could still be out there. But the cops had basically said that although there wasn’t a body yet, there was no way Emily could have survived the hurricane conditions. Maybe the Fields just wanted to get this over with and move on.
    The music stopped and the priest cleared his throat. Hanna heard him say Emily’s name, but then her mind began to swim and swirl. She grabbed Aria’s hand and squeezed. “Tell me this isn’t happening,” she murmured.
    â€œI was about to ask you the same thing,” Aria said.
    The Fields family rose en masse and walked to the front. Mrs. Fields took the podium first and cleared her throat. A long silence followed before she spoke. “I’d like to think my daughter has returned to the water from which she