Free Out with the In Crowd by Stephanie Morrill

thought of Abbie scrolling through the adoption website. “It’s hard to say.”
    “I bet you’re glad you didn’t plan on going away to college.”
    I shrugged. “I guess so.”
    Jodi took a dainty sip of her juice. “I’d want to stick around if I was about to have a niece. I love babies.”
    My throat constricted as I thought of Abbie handing her baby girl over to a strange, faceless couple. I didn’t love babies, but oddly, I already loved this one.
    But of course it was easy for me to want to keep the baby, wasn’t it? It wouldn’t be me pouring out my life. Abbie would be the one making the sacrifices.
    “Speaking of college,” Eli said, “I guess we’ll all be hearing soon.”
    “What’s everybody’s top choice?” Connor asked.
    And while they listed their schools—Kansas, Kansas, Vanderbilt, UNC, and Kansas—my mind filled with swaying palm trees, azure waters, golden beaches. Connor had been right to say I’d been craving a fresh start. Could I really turn down the one Mom wanted to hand to me?

9
    On my way out of the cafeteria, Lisa caught up with me. “Can I talk to you?”
    The last time Lisa sought me out for a conversation, she dropped the bomb that Eli and Jodi had gotten back together. Her words made me nervous.
    Lisa must’ve noticed this, because she laughed. “It’s nothing bad. I just wanted to thank you.”
    “Thank me?” I searched my brain for anything I might have done. “For what?”
    “Do you remember back in October when you found Alexis and me fighting about John?”
    My face heated at the memory. “Uh, yeah.” It had happened the morning after I discovered Eli had fooled around with Jodi at homecoming. I’d completely lost control with my friends, calling them—if memory served correctly—the most self-absorbed people I’d ever met. What a shining moment. Like the total opposite of what Jesus would’ve done. “Well, I was kinda mad at you at first, but later I thought about what you said. You know, how it was stupid for Alexis and me to be fighting because I wasn’t really in love with John?” Lisa shrugged and popped her gum. “That made a lot of sense to me. And I’ve been watching you. You really are different now.”
    I shifted, oddly uncomfortable. “Thanks.”
    “I mean, the old you never would have put up with Jodi and Eli getting back together.” Lisa waved at some guy as he passed by and said to him, “You better let me cheat today. I can’t afford another failed test.”
    “Then maybe you should study,” he said with a wink.
    Lisa laughed, then turned back to me. “Sorry, what were we talking about?”
    I smiled. I’d missed Lisa. Sure, she was ditzy, and her clothes often looked like they’d been spray-painted on, but she had a warmth about her. I always felt accepted around Lisa.
    “You were saying the old me would’ve been mad about Eli and Jodi. I really don’t like him anymore, so it’s easy.”
    “But remember before you guys started dating? You were constantly chasing girls away from him, even though you didn’t want to date him yourself.” Lisa smiled, looking nostalgic. “I used to be like that too with John. But I don’t want to do that anymore.” She took a deep, cleansing breath, like in yoga. “It’s very freeing, you know. Releasing him. Moving on. I stopped feeling sad about school ending. I’m ready for something new. Aren’t you?”
    Once again the palm trees in my mind swayed in the tropical breeze.
    I’d been thirteen my last time in Hawaii. Grammy and Papa lived in a tiny bungalow in Kapaa, Kauai. I remembered that stepping into that house was like stepping back in time—paneled walls and fringed lamp shades. The whole place smelled like dust and mildew, and I couldn’t help wrinkling my nose when I walked in. Dad had taken me aside and given me a five-minute lecture about respect.
    But the house hadn’t mattered much because the only time we spent inside was to sleep. Otherwise Abbie and I were in