the thing is, we really need to sort out Cosmo.â
âThatâs fine,â said Diane, quickly. She was standing behind me looking just as awkward as Mum. âWhy donât you pop along with your mum and get him now, Polly, and then you can spend the rest of the day settling him in.â
I carried Cosmo up the road, talking to him all the way. He started to wriggle and squirm as we came up the path to the front door at number 11, but I held on to him as tightly as I could, trying to reassure him that everything was going to be okay. The second we got inside he scrambled out of my arms, shot through the door into the living room â and straight under the sofa. He stayed under there for the rest of the day.
I spent ages lying on the floor trying to convince him that it was safe to come out, but he wouldnât budge. I even slid a bowl of his favourite food under the sofa to tempt him out â but it didnât make the slightest difference.
âJust give him some time,â said Diane. âHeâll soon learn to trust us. You know, I popped in to see the vet during the week and he said we should put some butter on his paws.â
I looked up from the floor. âHe said what ?â
âNo, seriously, Polly. I told him about Cosmo coming to live with us and he said if we put butter on his paws, heâd lick it off â and then, when he wanted more, heâd find his way straight back to where he first got it.â
âAnd he knows that for a fact, does he?â
âI really donât know if he knows it for a fact,â said Diane, slowly, as if she was talking to a two-year-old. âBut I think it might be worth a try, donât you?â
It probably was worth a try but it was going to be impossible unless Cosmo decided to come out from under the sofa. In the end I left him there and went back upstairs to the computer. I finished describing my perfect friend and entered the details. A few minutes later a message popped up in my friend2friend mailbox. It was from someone called Skye. I had no idea who she was but we started chatting.
Skye said she was my special friend2friend friend. That the computer had matched us up because we were so similar. She asked me loads of questions but I didnât tell her about Mum leaving, or Diane trying to suck up, or Cosmo quivering under the sofa. I was Marcia2 and I lived with my mum and dad and my twin sister, Phoebe, and everything about my life was just about perfect.
Cosmo stayed under the sofa for the next two days. We knew he was venturing out at night because each morning his food and water bowls were empty. And we could tell by the awful smell that heâd managed to find the cat-litter tray in the downstairs loo.
Diane was trying to be patient about the litter tray but I could see it was getting on her nerves.
âWeâll give it a few more days,â she said at breakfast on Tuesday, âbut after that heâll have to start going out.â
âBut he might not be ready,â I said. âIf you force him out before heâs ready he might not come back.â
She screwed up her face, shuddering. âIâm sorry, Polly, but itâs just not hygienic; not with Jake crawling around putting everything into his mouth.â
âDonât worry, Di, love,â said Dad. âIâve bought a cat flap and Iâm going to sort it out as soon as I get home from work today. That way heâll be able to come and go as he pleases. No more poohs, I promise. The only poohs we can cope with at the moment are yours, arenât they, little Jakey cakey.â
Jake kicked his legs and blew a big raspberry. I felt like blowing a big raspberry myself â right at Dad and Diane â but I kept my mouth clamped shut and sat there in silence.
After school I went round to see Mum. She was leaving the next morning and Tracy had invited some of her friends over for a bit of a send off. I wanted