Free Victoria's Got a Secret by Helenkay Dimon

same spot in his kitchen for hours.
    She’d waited until the snow piled up and the wind howled. When he finally slipped into the bathroom without looking at her, she’d snuck out with only her clothes and her purse.
    He’d had Neil deliver the stuff she’d left at his house. Seeing the bag sitting just inside her front door had touched off a second round of regret and dragging despair.
    “If you can’t love him back you need to let him move on.”
    Tracie repeated the same theory Jennifer said over and over in her own head. It proved just as frustrating when it came from someone else.
    “I have to agree on this one.” Heather took Jennifer’s hand and squeezed until she got eye contact. “Look, I adore Paul. Hell, I’ve pushed you together since you were fifteen. But there’s clearly a disconnect between you. Something you’re not getting. It might be kinder to let him go.”
    Jennifer wanted to work up a good case of fury against her sister and fight off her words, then lash out at the world. Instead, she told the truth. “When I’m with him, it’s perfect.”
    “It is not,” Tracie shot back.
    This was the part Jennifer couldn’t explain even to herself. Paul was right that she pushed him and kept at it until their words blew into a full-fledged fight. But in those quiet moments when they were making dinner or snuggling on the couch, there was nowhere else she wanted to be.
    Her dreams dropped away. And that’s what scared the hell out of her.
    They were too immature and untested to head into a lifetime that came with settling down too early. They needed to grow, and she prayed they’d someday weave their lives back together. More importantly, she hoped he would see her points and ultimately forgive her for pushing him aside.
    “It’s when I try something new, like when we went to that oxygen bar, or when I go out for drinks with people from work, or meet an executive from an advertising firm and he asks me out.” She searched for the right way to say it. “It’s like for that split second I’m tempted to be someone else.”
    Tracie’s eyes narrowed in the disapproving scowl she’d perfected as the older sister of four brothers. “So all of this is because you want to date other people?”
    Jennifer shook her head. That’s the part that never fit together in her mind. “No.”
    “Are you sure?” Tracie asked.
    “I would never cheat on Paul.”
    “Then what?” Tracie spun the full cereal bowl around on the table.
    Jennifer barely heard the thumping as the edges hit the wood. “I can’t figure out why it’s always so hard for us.”
    “Maybe it’s not supposed to be easy.” Heather reached out and grabbed the bowl, putting it out of handling distance. “Maybe a relationship worth keeping takes more than that.”
    “Probably.” Jennifer just said the word to fill in the gap.
    “Isn’t that what the Duchess always told us? You put the time in and get out so much more.”
    Tracie pressed her lips together. “Or maybe you’re just not ready.”
    Jennifer picked the option that didn’t carry a weight of guilt and judgment. If the answer depended on measure of effort, that would mean she really did bail, just as Paul accused her of doing. “I think that’s it.”
    Tracie glanced at Heather before she spoke. “Then let him go and move on. You both deserve that.”
    They did. She did. He certainly did. But knowing and acting were two different things for Jennifer. “I don’t know if I can.”
    Neil sat down at the opposite end of the couch and handed a beer to Paul. The game blared on the television and snacks littered the coffee table in front of them.
    It was the first time Paul had ventured out of the house to do more than work or shovel out the driveway as his rental agreement required. Neil’s house was safe. It was a Jennifer-free space. No photos of her. No memories of her there, since she’d never been inside.
    Beer, a remote control and unhealthy food. The place was a