Free Behind the Lens (Behind the Lives) by Marita A. Hansen

treat me like all I’m good for is this?” He smacked his
cock, making himself wince.
    “You’re
not the measure of your cock, it’s the whole package people want,” she said,
now feeling guilty for pushing him too hard, the devastation in his eyes not
what she wanted or expected. She wanted to hurt him for his physical pleasure,
not to cause him emotional pain.
    He
threw his underwear at her. “If they wanted the whole package then they would
stay with me, but they don’t, so don’t gimme that shit.”
    She
wondered whether she’d caused his low opinion of himself. No, she couldn’t be
the only reason, because he’d said that others didn’t want to stay either, and
if anything, it was probably the porn stars behind it, or more specifically
Craven, the wolf having paid them to have one-night-stands with Dante. She’d
spoken to a few of them, the women telling her that they would’ve loved to have
stayed with him, but they had been expressly forbidden, and if they had continued
to see Dante they would have gotten their faces carved up—like Candy had, the
woman used as an example.
    Kara
breathed out, trying to think of anything but the truth to tell him, anything
to make him feel better. “You shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself,” she finally
said. “And the women who didn’t stay with you were probably married or had
partners; otherwise you would have them now, that is, if you wanted to.”
    “You’re
married, so why don’t you piss off and leave me alone too.”
    “I
don’t want my marriage, it’s toxic.”
    “Like
our relationship wuz—and still is.”
    “No
it wasn’t— isn’t , you never hurt me.”
    “I
threatened to snap your neck only a minute ago.”
    “An
empty threat.”
    “How
would you know? You know nuthin’ ’bout me.”
    “I
know more than you think.”
    “Bullshit,
and I’m sick of you standing there like that,” he waved a hand at her body, “so
fuckin’ confident that I would cheat on Beth.”
    “Again,
you cannot cheat when you aren’t with the woman, and if you go back to her,
she’ll hurt you again.”
    “You
hurt me more than she ever did.”
    “I
didn’t mean to.”
    “Yes,
you did, you walked out, and now you’re walking right back in, thinking that
you can do anything you want. Well, you can’t!”
    “I’m
only trying to take back what I lost all those years ago, and don’t tell me you
aren’t turned-on, because I knowyou like forceful women. I’m guessing
that’s why you ended up with Beth. She does have bite, like me.”
    “She’s
nuthin’ like you.”
    “Which
is probably why you look so sexually frustrated. She’s not giving you what you
need. Does she know how you like to be forced to do things—”
    “I
didn’t want half the shit you did to me! You were the one wanting that, not me,
but you never listened. I only did those things cos I wuz afraid to lose you,
but no matter what, you still went hot and cold on me, liking things one day
then yelling at me the next, confusing the shit outta me. You’re bloody more
bipolar than I am.”
    “Don’t
kid yourself, Dante. You’re a deviant, you just won’t admit it.” His jaw
clenched, his eyes again flashing, but his silence told her what she’d said was
true. She smiled. “Can’t deny it, can you?”
    “You
warped me.”
    “You’re
wrong, dragi¸ I just gave you what you wanted, because I know you so
well.”
    “You
do not.”
    “Then
tell me that you don’t imitate our love life with your lovers, just with you
causing the pain rather than the women.”
    He
stared at her, his expression stunned, like he didn’t understand how she knew,
but she knew alright, again, Craven’s whores giving her all the information she
craved about Dante.
    “I
know you better than yourself, Dante,” she said. “And way more than this Beth
can ever know. Our minds think alike: Mi Smo Jedan —We Are One . ”
    He
shook his head. “You ruined that, and I don’t know you at all, haven’t