Free Six Kids and a Stuffed Cat by Gary Paulsen Page B

anything to say.)
    AVERY
    I think Regan makes a good point about you and Devon: One of you is living the dream; the other one has detention all the time and a lot of bloody noses. (They turn and study DEVON who is rocking the neck of the guitar up and down, arching back as if in a backbend and then leaning forward in a crouch and prowling across the stage, bent over, knees bent, totally blissed out.)
    JORDAN
    (sighs and throws up hands in defeat) : Okay, you got me. Clearly, we should all be more like Devon and Regan.
    REGAN
    (hands JORDAN a piece of paper) : Here. You can get over your fear of speaking doing a set at the fundraiser next week. You’ll tell jokes for a good cause and overcome your performance anxiety by playing to a crowd bigger than one.
    JORDAN
    (signs paper and hands it back) : So, I’m going to join at least one of Regan’s extracurricular activities. Good thing it’s the one that plays to my skill set: I’ll be able to wander around telling random jokes, maybe even doing a few improv skits. (wheels around as if facing a live audience and points) : “You! Come up here on the stage next to me. An escaped convict, the grease trap of an Atlantic City casino’s kitchen stovetop, and a misunderstanding about a blind date. Now improvise a scene with me using those ideas and . . . GO!”
    AVERY
    I actually think that sounds kind of amazing. I’ll sign up and get involved if you will—probably easier if we have each other’s backs. I’ll be less likely to doze through another school day if I know someone’s got my back around here.
    JORDAN
    You don’t have a little brother, do you?
    AVERY
    No.
    JORDAN
    The stuffed cat belongs to you, doesn’t it?
    AVERY
    Yeah. But not the puke smell. I don’t know where that came from.
    REGAN
    Backstage. You do not even want to know what happened after the musical last month. Thought we’d cleaned everything up. Guess not.
    JORDAN
    Now that we all know the stuffed cat belongs to you, are you going to leave him at home?
    AVERY
    Probably just get a bigger bag.
    JORDAN
    That’s what I figured.
    REGAN
    I love when stuff works out so I look like the really cool person with all the answers. (pauses to reflect) It happens a lot, but it never gets old.
    MASON
    That’s very chummy for you three and, no doubt, in the best interests of the entire school. But Taylor and I have a book report to finish. Taylor, you have one last paragraph to write and then you’re done. Then, today, when your mother asks you what you did today, you can say, “Spared Mason from dying of frustration and boredom by finishing my homework assignment.” She’ll be so proud.
    REGAN
    What about you, Mase? What are you going to tell your mom about what you and your friends did today?
    MASON
    She would never ask that. Because she knows that I don’t have friends. I have well-connected contacts. And influential references. And helpful associates. And challenging academic colleagues.
    TAYLOR
    Nah. That’s not all. You have friends.
    MASON
    Right. You want me to believe that you actually stopped to think about whether or not I have a big enough social circle?
    TAYLOR
    (clears throat and very carefully recites the following list): Two, three, five, seven, eleven, thirteen, seventeen, nineteen, and twenty-three.
    AVERY
    Cool! First Devon tunes out and has a little concert going on in the corner. Then Jordan turns into a human punch-line generator. Now Taylor’s become a number-spewing savant. You cannot tell me there isn’t something really unique in the air at this school. Even my parents would not believe weirder things could happen.
    MASON
    (smiles, confused, impressed, uncertain) : No. That’s not it; those are prime numbers. Taylor just listed prime numbers. (facing TAYLOR) You have been paying attention when we work together.
    TAYLOR
    Not only is it hard to tune someone like you out, but (clears throat