Free Six Kids and a Stuffed Cat by Gary Paulsen

combined with the warmth of your head resting on the bag all day adversely altered the chemical compound of whatever the stuffed cat was originally stuffed with, turning it into a rancid stink bomb. There are some extra credit science points in there somewhere if you figure out the hows and the whys of the mystery stench. I’m just saying—you might need some bonus projects to submit, seeing as how you cut class today.
    (DEVON switches from air guitar to a combination of air drums and air piano, twisting back in forth slamming the drum heads and pounding the keyboards. DEVON holds up both hands, ring and middle fingers tucked under the thumbs, index and small fingers up in the rock-and-roll sign, twirling in circles and head-banging to a beat no one else can hear. Everyone’s head starts nodding in time. Eventually, DEVON moves away from the keyboard and drum kit and starts playing the guitar again, solo over.)
    JORDAN
    Don’t take this the wrong way, but does anyone ever wonder if there’s something not quite right with Devon?
    REGAN
    You mean because of the way Dev doesn’t seem to live in the same world as the rest of us?
    JORDAN
    (nods) : I love Dev—what’s not to love about Dev, right?—and it’s not like Devon hasn’t been like this since kindergarten and we’ve all gotten used to things but, you know, looking at the situation with fresh eyes, a person starts to wonder.
    MASON
    What I wonder is why Devon’s even at school this late anyway. Taylor and I were in the library, studying; Regan was at practice and Jordy was in detention because that’s where Regan and Jordan always are; and Avery was asleep—but does anyone know why Devon was still roaming the halls playing guitar so long after school was dismissed?
    TAYLOR
    Devon missed the bus. And I don’t mean just today. (looks at Mason and smirks) It’s a metaphor.
    MASON
    Spell it. And if you use an F , I’ll throw my shoe at you.
    REGAN
    It doesn’t take a third-year psych student to figure out Dev’s the teeniest, tiniest bit touched in the head, as my great-aunt Blanche would say.
    AVERY
    We haven’t actually spoken—Devon can hold a conversation, right? (everyone shrugs) But I get the feeling Devon’s a good person. I like people who are different.
    JORDAN
    Then you are in the right middle school restroom with the right five people. Because, not to brag or anything, but you could not have set out to gather together a group of people who are more unhinged than us.
    REGAN
    Speak for yourself. I am the very definition of the clean-cut all-American scholar-athlete young citizen role model. The fact that I am wickedly good-looking and heart-meltingly charming is a happy bonus.
    MASON
    (to AVERY) : Regan took more than one person’s share while standing in the self-confidence line. (REGAN nods, tries to look humble; MASON continues): My only problem is that I might be too smart to fit in with my peers.
    TAYLOR
    Mason took more than one person’s share while standing in the ego line. (turning to MASON) And you spell that C-O-N-C—E I -before- E -except-after- C T-E-D . (MASON applauds) The only problem I have is a low tolerance for goofballs. Which, if you ask me, is pretty much everyone in this school.
    AVERY
    None of you are anything like the kids from my last school.
    JORDAN
    What was that like?
    AVERY
    It wasn’t a school so much as a—now don’t overreact to the word—but commune .
    JORDAN
    You’re going to have to do some explaining.
    AVERY
    Commune might be the wrong word. (pauses) A bunch of parents and their kids lived together as one big family, raising a garden for food and sharing all the responsibilities.
    JORDAN
    Commune is the exact right word.
    AVERY
    We only lived there for a few months. Just to see what it was like. My folks like to try new things.
    MASON
    Have you tried out any other alternative lifestyles we should know about?