Free Mind Lies by Harlow Stone Page A

stand it anymore,” I beg. Strong fingers tighten around my arm, catching me as I stumble on the concrete walkway heading toward the back of the building.
    “I’m sorry, Lass. I truly am. But this is safest place for now. Trust me.”
    My laugh is harsh when I reply, “I’m so fucking done with safe, Lachlan. I love you, and you leave me. Every damn time. I’d take unsafe with companionship over safe, lonely, and empty. I can’t keep doing this, Lock. I can’t.”
    “Jerri!” Portia’s harsh voice snaps be back to the present. We’re still at the side of the building. The cool, grey concrete against my back feels better than the sweat accumulating on my temples. Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes to meet Portia’s concerned ones.
    “This is it. It’s up there.” I nod toward the red, rusted staircase to my left. I feel relieved, and scared, that we’ve found it. On one hand, I’ve confirmed that I’m not completely insane. But on the other, I worry about the constant references in my memories regarding my safety.
    What did I need to be safe from?
    Better yet, from who?
    The side door opens, and a tiny Chinese woman with greying hair exits carrying a bag of garbage. Tossing it into the bin, she turns and looks at us with a mixture of shock and happiness. “Miss Jerri, you back! You see sign, apartment for rent,” she says, pointing to the stairwell.
    I did not see the sign.
    I feel slightly shocked that this woman recognizes me. Portia takes the lead. “Hi! I’m actually the one apartment hunting. I’m Jerri’s friend Portia,” she says, smiling kindly, reaching for the little older woman’s hand.
    “I Ming. You come. I show you,” says the woman known as Ming. She starts dragging Portia by the hand to the staircase. Hanging onto the railing, I follow at a much slower pace, still cautious of my healing body and cloudy mind.
    “Miss Jerri live here one year. Always pay rent. Last man no pay, so he go!” Ming jabbers on as she leads Portia through the door to the apartment. I pause on the landing to take a deep breath before crossing into the apartment. Memories continue hitting me.
    “Would you listen to me, Lock? I don’t want to be here without you! I’ll go wherever you want me to go and do whatever you want me to do. I just want to be together.”
    I begged him to stay right here in this very spot, in an apartment he put me in to keep me safe. Taking a few more steps inside a place that smells like fabric softener, I come to the wall that separates the kitchen from the entry way—the same wall he passionately fucked me against while I was pregnant with his child.
    The child I miscarried.
    Where is he?
    Waiting for something to hit me, another memory, a clue that could help me figure out why I left, I blindly follow the two through a place I once called home.
    “So, the apartment comes with the furniture, Ming?” I hear Portia ask. I feel bad for the kind woman taking her time to show us an apartment we have no intentions of renting.
    “You bring own bed. Everything here stay for you,” Ming tells Portia as she bobs her head up and down.
    “I believe it’s time to christen the new bed, Lass,” Lock groans in my ear as he pulls the dress off my shoulders.
    Glancing toward me where I lean against the wall, Ming adds, “Miss Jerri no look good. You come.” She waves her hand at me, shooing me toward the bathroom, and I blindly follow. Wetting a cloth in the sink, she stands on her toes and presses it against my forehead.
    “You need rest in condition, Miss Jerri.” She tells me, waving her hand up and down my body. I nod, taking a few deep breaths to calm my head and stomach.
    “I’m just a little light headed. Thank you, Ming.”
    I take the cool cloth from her hand as Portia squeezes my shoulder. “We should get you home, Jerri.”
    Approving, Ming nods before pointing at my flat stomach. “Too much for baby. Must be boy. Boy make tired very early.”
    I smile a little,